Okay kiddies, I have a few things I simply must rant about.
Facebook users…I have seen countless pictures of other people’s food and I have to say, “WTF????” Why on earth do people feel the need to post a picture of the meal they are about to eat? No offense folks, but I don’t give a rat’s bahookey what you are preparing to eat. And, to be quite honest, I don’t think anyone else does either. I mean, if you made some uber cutesy little snack for your kids birthday or managed to cook something and have it actually look just like the picture, fine–share away. As a general rule, however, no one cares about your bologna sandwich or your sad-looking salad or whatever. If you are having something that we wouldn’t want anyway, you are simply wasting everyone’s time. If you’re having something particularly yummy, you’re just pissing people off by bragging about it. In summary: Sharing pictures of your food is pretty much never okay…so knock it off funk-knuckle.
I was once again forced to face what an un-nice person I am today. We have this little old lady who shops at our store a couple times a week. She is a nice old lady who calls us dears and is fairly friendly and such. And I cannot stand her. Every time I see her coming, I want to duck and weave behind displays and such, just to avoid being spotted by the old biddy. She is one of those folks who simply has no concept of acceptable requests/behavior. She will shuffle her wrinkly old behind right up to the counter and ask us to go fetch her something off a shelf or show her where something is–completely ignoring the fact that we are waiting on another customer. She will just barge right in and demand whatever stupid thing she wants, ignoring the other customers entirely. Then, when we do go and assist her, she wants something else, or she wants to bitch about the item you just helped her with or she wants you to tell her every minute detail of said item. She also loves to come up and tell us that this customer or that customer is stealing and we need to keep an eye on them…at least four times, it has been a close friend or relative of one of us, who we know to be innocent. When we point this out, that old bat simply shifts to the next question or complaint or accusation without missing a beat. I mean, I feel like the world’s biggest bitch for feeling so down right evil toward this old lady. She is never overly nasty, never blathers away on her cell phone, never yells at us. Really, she has never done one truly bad thing to me. And I still find her rather annoying and utterly intolerable. I have actually caught myself daydreaming about yelling at her or throwing something at her, and that’s pretty bad I guess. But damn she’s annoying.
Daily randomosity: When I was little, our dad let my brother and I play with fire and candle wax and stuff. It was really fun and, for the record, the only time we sort of almost really started something on fire we weren’t supposed to was when my brother accidently kinda set fire to the couch. Thankfully, marijuana and exceedingly poor parenting made our dad rather laid back for the most part, so he just put out the fire and told us to watch what we were doing, then resumed watching old episodes of Doctor Who. My co-worker tried to poison me tonight. I tried the weird Mountain Dew she bought–some Baja something or other. It was horrid! She didn’t tell me it was lime flavored and therefore nasty beyond comprehension. I almost died. Seriously, I have not liked anything lime-flavored EVER. Limes are evil and sent by Satan to ick me out. I had yet another tooth break tonight. Well, kind of anyway…a little piece of the tooth broke and the next thing I know, my filling just fell out. WTH?? I might have freaked out a tad bit over that for a minute or so. Weird thought: if a flamingo wears a feather boa, would that be like a human wearing a skin scarf? The next week and a half is going to be sucky. I have to work almost every day between now and the day I head to my nieces. I think I have 2 days off out of the next 10…maybe 3 days. And I’ll have to be on register at least 3 of those nights, which I hate with an all consuming passion. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT! Never fails, I work the register, I have at least 1 overly-perfumed asshole come through my line and set off a stupid asthma attack. At least when I am key-holder, I can avoid people wearing perfume. If I get even a vague whiff, I shoot off in the opposite direction and find something else to do until they’re gone, usually avoiding an attack altogether or at least minimizing it. When I am on register, that is not an option. At the register, I have to continue helping the customer while coughing and trying to breathe, page the key-holder and wait for them to come up and relieve me so I can go outside and wait for the inhaler/fresh air combo to make breathing easier. Customers stare at me like I am spreading the plague and co-workers sometimes get upset ’cause they were in the middle of something and had to stop because of me. Siiiiigh. Omg, it was soooo icky tonight! I was covering the register for the cashier and this guys came over to check out. All the sudden, he starts sneezing. Great big, loaded sneezes, which he covers /catches with his hand. The same hand that then handed me the money to pay for his stuff. I almost freaked. But, and I am so proud of myself, it’s a bit disgusting, I managed to fairly discreetly ick-pinch the money with my fingernails and deposit his change into his waiting, germ-filled hand–all without shrieking or squealing while flapping my hands and doing the ewewewewewewewickyickyicky dance. I even made it until he reached the door before I shot into the office and dug out my grime-wipes and scrubbed my hands and drawer and such. Incredible self-restraint, that.
Gotta go joe…