Ignore it and it will go away…


Ignore it and it will go away...

Or you’ll end up in a high-speed chase on Cops, which probably won’t end well.


Stop laughing…


Stop laughing...

LMAO hilarious! I have a friend who had to shave their cat and, believe it or not, he looked even more awesomely hilarious than this one!

Locked Out Of Lock Up, A Literal Pain In The Neck and Further Irrelevant Blog Babble


So it’s storming.  Again.  And every time it storms, the satellite goes ape-shit and revokes our t.v. privileges until the weather shapes up and behaves itself.  Which, in my opinion, is completely unfair, since the behavior of the weather is not our fault.  I can’t help it that mother nature wants to dump buckets of rain and wind and such on our area.  And does anyone else wonder why the hell the satellite folks cannot get their shit together?  I mean, c’mon people!  Logic dictates that bad weather occurs outside, where they place the satellite dishes.  So, wouldn’t it be a pretty good idea to design a dish that, I don’t know, keeps working when it’s raining and such???  Seriously piss poor designing on their part.  Build the damn things little domes or mini-awnings or something!  Duct tape a damn poncho over the stupid dish for all I care!  Doesn’t even have to be impressive, just figure something out, for crying in the sink!  I’m missing Lockup: Raw damn it!

My neck hurts and it’s really irritating and I blame the stupid twerp and that damn water roll-tainer and working 2 long days after the whole truck incident.  So now I’m doing that stupid neck-hurts turn thingy, where you turn your whole upper body ’cause it hurts like hell to just turn your head.  I am annoyed.

Yay!  Lockup is working…for now.

Daily randomosity:  I really want to go swimming.  Not right now, of course, just, you know, sometime soon-ish.  Strangely, there doesn’t seem to be many dwarves in prison.  WTF spell check?  Dwarves is totally a frickin’ word!  I am all geeked-out excited because my blog had over 90 views this week!  Whoo hoo!  The number of words I have to add to this damn spell check dictionary is just disgusting.  In fact, I’m beginning to worry that I somehow received a mentally challenged spell check.  Like, maybe my spell check was in a tragic accident and can only handle simplistic vocabulary words.  Or maybe it’s just an vindictive, evil little bastard that likes to irritate the hell out of me by refusing to acknowledge the existence of totally legit words and acting all judgy and stuff.  Tonight at work, I was straightening some misc crap, and this woman comes to the end of the aisle and we had the following exchange:

Her: Are you running the register?

Me: Yes.

Her:  Well I’m heading up there.  I’m ready to go.  Now.

Me:  Ok.

I start toward the register as she walks in that direction all huffy-like and disgruntled.  Seriously?  She was pissy that I wasn’t at the counter waiting to assist her BEFORE SHE EVEN GOT THERE?????  Like, she didn’t get there and see I was gone and get all miffed, and she didn’t go to check out and end up waiting at the counter for me to arrive.  She spotted me on her way to the register and flipped me nasty attitude for not being there, even though she hadn’t even gotten close to the stupid counter yet!  People are mean and sucky and overall icky.  What, precisely is an eyebrow stringer?  I mean, it appears to be a way of shaping one’s eyebrows, but I can’t quite figure out how it works.  Jail house enemas?  Um…no.  Just no.  Like, what could possibly make chicks in jail go, “You’ll give me an enema?  And all I have to give you is a Honeybunn?  Omg!  I am so in!”  Added bonus?  The bottle is reused, so they’re totally being all environmentally considerate and such!  That is just nasty and wrong on so many levels.  I won’t even use a public toilet unless it is an absolute, dire emergency!  Ewewewewewewew.  Bastard satellite–starting to work a bit now, you know, after my show is over. and i only saw, like, 10 minutes of it.  How very irksome.

Peace out!

Ooh, pick me! Pick me!


Ooh, pick me!  Pick me!

Knowledgeable gator knows the difference between alligators and crocodiles! Yay knowledgeable gator! You totally deserve a cookie, but since you’re more into the whole carnivore thing, we’ll go with you deserve a healthy helping of the dumb lady who thinks you’re a crocodile! Winner, winner, yummy dinner!