Double Double Blog And Trouble

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I believe I may have mentioned this previously, but I truly loathe the vast majority of the human race.  If people could hear the things I say to other folks in my head, they would probably run screaming or maybe have me locked away somewhere.  It really isn’t my fault though, I did not make people act like complete moronic douchebags.  I do worry though, that one day I will accidentally blurt out the things I think.  Or maybe even start randomly whaling on people who are being annoying.  The chick who not only talks on her cell phone while at the check-out, she actually gets testy at the cashier for having the gall to attempt to communicate with her–bitch-slap to the head.  The dude who gets all snarky when you ask for his birth date when he purchases alcohol–throat punch.  The lady who couldn’t find what she wanted so she just leaves her cart in the middle of the aisle and walks out of the store–swift kick in the bahookey on her way out the door.  You get the idea.  Gawd, people are so annoying!  

In less than  24 hours, I will be with my nieces!!!!!!!!!!!

Daily randomosity:  A customer I waited on this evening told me how her poor cat got his tail accidentally amputated in a tragic sliding door incident, which made me feel terribly sad for this cat I have never seen and probably never will see.  I’m really glad that my cat only received a very minor injury during his tragic sliding door accident!  Lol, my cat is actually lying next to me with his paw stretched way out so he can have his paw resting on my arm.  Um…wow…that commercial made me rather acutely uncomfortable.  I could have gone my whole life without seeing a cartoon rendition of fleas having flea sex.  And why the hell would fleas be using KY?  Seriously, some of the commercials out there are just plain ridonculous!  I really felt quite yuck tonight, like, the whole night, I just felt rather miserable.  Stupid asthma.  I can’t believe my friend, Josh, is going to go bear hunting!  If he gets his faced eaten off, I won’t even be able to feel sorry for him, ’cause he totally started it.  Like, no offense, but why on earth would anyone go out into the wilderness and LOOK for a bear??  Being a sane, fairly rational-ish person, I myself would try to AVOID bears.  See the difference there?  Look for a huge, carnivorous animal versus avoiding said carnivorous animal–really a no-brainer here folks.  Bears can, and will, eat people.  Therefore, people should stay away from bears.  Quite simple really.  And what the hell do you do with a bear if you do manage to kill one before it eats you?  And why bears?  Bears are kinda cute and such…why not hunt something less cute and less dangerous?  Like, maybe you could hunt earwigs!  Everyone hates earwigs, and the world would be much better off with fewer earwigs.  And shooting an earwig would be super impressive, since they’re so small and move rather quickly and all.  And you wouldn’t have to fork over the money to have them stuffed and mounted and whatever, ’cause who the hell wants dead earwigs all over their house??  I could never be a cannibal.  I can’t even eat a gummy worm and won’t even consider eating food that’s been dropped in the dirt.  And considering how germy and dirty and nasty a human body is, there’s just no way.  You’d probably get worms, and lord knows I couldn’t deal with that.  I think I’d be a pretty bad killer too, I’m not very good at being viscous nor am I very agile or coordinated.  If I tried to kill someone, like if I went to stab someone, I’d probably miss them, stab myself in the leg, and fall and break my arm or something.  And if I did manage to injure them, but didn’t kill them, I’d be all apologizing for making them suffer and end up crying and such.  Of course, most likely, I’d have it all planned and everything, then forget all about it until days later, then I’d be all un-motivated and such.  Which means that, overall, I would be a terrible hit-woman.  Which is a good thing actually, since I wouldn’t much like being in prison, nor do I think I would look very good in prison garb.  

Toddles all! 

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