I Think I Need A 12 Step Program…


I am beginning to worry that my obsession with documentaries may be reaching an unhealthy level.  It’s like Netflix is my dealer or something.  I mosey on into the Netflix world all casual-like, then pounce on the documentary selections like some kind of desperate crack-whore, except that my crack is documentaries.  And I’m not really a whore.  And, to be honest, I don’t really know how a crack-whore would pounce on crack, since I’ve never officially met a real-life, honest to goodness crack-whore.  I have watched documentaries on them though.  Well, not like, an entire documentary about crack-whores, but they often appear in drug addiction documentaries.  Anyway, I watched more documentaries tonight and actually had to argue with myself to turn them off for the night and blog and go to bed and such…like, a real argument ensued here folks.  I was actually having a non-verbal, internal-monologue-type brawl with myself over whether I could watch just one more doc (about how Nazi medicine went so very wrong and why and such…super interesting, right?) or if I needed to be done for the night.  It got rather ugly.  I’m pretty sure I won’t forgive myself anytime soon for some of the hurtful name-calling.  Damn documentaries.

So, today I actually left the house!  I went to a doctor appointment, stopped to buy a choc milk and say hi to Pam, went to Walmart for meds and necessities, then went to, like 5 garage sales!  And I didn’t even die or anything.  Okay, so I was rather exhausted and felt pretty crappy by the time I got done, but I did it!  Okay, and I had to do a treatment before I went and when I got back.  And I may have had to go sit in the car for a couple garage sales.  And I might have sorta felt like I got run over by a rabid water buffalo.  But I didn’t die!  And I got 3 pairs of adorable capris and 3 pairs of oh-so-cute jeans for only $7.75!!!!!!  Which is awesome-sauce ’cause I just had 1 pair of jeans die, another pair has apparently stretched out and are now too big, and I only had 1 pair of capris that fit (the other pair is, sadly, way too big to even attempt to wear even with the whole I-live-in-baggy-clothes thing I have going).  Admittedly, my lack of stamina today was a bit concerning, since I fully plan on working my whole shift Sunday, even if it kills me.  

Daily randomosity:  People try to sell some really crappy stuff at garage sales.  I saw a set of Cars sheets that were all faded and discolored and super worn, marked $2!  Seriously?  WTH?  Just ick.  Spell check is stupid–WTH and ick are totally words.  My cat is bizarre and, admittedly, not the sharpest tool on the shed.  Every time I get up, then come back, he has settled himself into my spot.  Then he gets all snarky and such when I make him move, which I actually, physically, have to do.  Frosted Mini-wheats are a rather epic fail, in my book.  They’re mostly okay for the first 38 seconds they’re in milk, then they begin to, like, mutate, into this hideously slimy pasty stuff that is just plain wrong.  Damn…just dawned on me that I’ll have to nair/shave again, now that I have capris and people might actually see my legs.  Well, that just blows.  If you go to hell, and you get mad at someone there, where do you tell them to go?  The names of the 6 Cabbage Patch Kids my mother gave me (well, one of them came from my aunt, but whatever): Darcy Marilyn, Iona Nora, Charles Logan, Gracina Louella, Dolores ?, and the one whose name I honestly forgot years ago.  So 5 out of 6 ain’t too bad, right?  I saw the cutest little itty bitty puppy today!  I so wanted to hug him and squeeze him and keep him and all that.  Then I remembered that my ginormous cat would either be terrified of it or accidentally crush it to death by sitting on it.  So, no adorable little itty bitty puppies for me.  

Later gators!  


2 thoughts on “I Think I Need A 12 Step Program…

  1. Tom

    After listing off all these Cabbage Patch Dolls, is there any wonder where you get the penchant for giving your pets 15 equally creative names? I think your next pet needs to be named something simple, like, Gary or Kevin. Then when you go through the list of names for each of your pets, you end with “…and Gary.”


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