I try so hard to be a nice person. I really do. I don’t even like people, yet I will do everything I can to seem all nice and friendly and shit. I have worked with dozens of people over the years that drove me bat-shit…but they didn’t know that. I have always been able to play nice while gritting my teeth and resisting the urge to choke someone. Well, I have officially met my match. I have been confronted with someone whose stupidity exceeds the limits of my capacity for civility, let alone kindness. I simply cannot deal with this person. I want to scream at her, to shake her until her teeth rattle. She just does one thing after another that infuriates me. The work we are required to do does not allow for slowness, laziness, stupidity or anything else that keeps us from doing what needs done. We cannot take 10 minutes to ring up one customer unless they are buying, like, a zillion things. We cannot meander from place to place at a leisurely pace, taking our sweet time to complete tasks, we cannot spend an hour putting out the contents of a single tote, we cannot ask for a quick cigarette break and be gone for 13 minutes (especially when every other smoker working there takes 5 minutes or less to have a quick smoke), and we cannot ignore everything a key holder or manager tells us. If a customer asks if we have something, we have to try actually checking for ourselves instead of always making the key holder/manager come up and tell us. This girl simply refuses to do much of anything, and if she does do it, she takes FOREVER. I seriously almost lost my shit. I have worked with her twice now, and both times I ended up doing the work of 2 people while she did virtually nothing. Well, last night was the last straw. I simply could not force myself to be nice to her. Hell, I didn’t even manage civility really. In fact, I am positive that I hurt her feelings. Sadly, I simply do not give a shit. I figure I didn’t throttle her so I did pretty darn good. She survived and I didn’t end up in jail, so all in all, I pretty much deserve an award or something.
So the little old lady I have mentioned called the store tonight. The second I heard her voice, I had to fight the urge to throw the phone as far as I could while screaming, “For the love of everything holy woman, leave us alone!” Then, when she explained what she needed, I had to do the whole close my eyes and count to 10 thing. Apparently, she had purchased some potato things and had accidentally thrown the box away and couldn’t remember how much milk and water she needed to add. After an agonizingly tortuous version of 20 questions, I finally figured out what kind of potato crap she had purchased, and gave her the information. Then she asked about something else, so I had to walk back to the front of the store to check that for her. There I was, rolling my eyes and gritting my teeth, and she starts telling me how grateful she is and how helpful I was and such. Did that make me any less annoyed? Not even a little. I know, I’m terrible, but damn that woman drives me bonkers.
Daily randomosity: Why do people insist on tearing apart see-through packaging? If you can see the damn thing, why the hell do you need to take it out? Why is it that only a small percentage of customers treat us like human beings? I should really repaint my toenails and Nair my legs. Handy tip: For anyone who hates shaving their legs, try applying Nair, then using baby wipes to remove it. Less mess and no trying to balance on one leg in the shower! And you can save the lives of your razors! I discovered that having a 23.5 pound cat fall off a headboard-type thing and land on your head is acutely uncomfortable. Although it is amusing to watch aforementioned cat struggle to right himself–kind of a lot like watching a rather unskinny turtle. I have 12 followers now, which is pretty awesome. I am just exhausted from the last two nights of work, and I have two more to go before I get a night off. Pinterest once again hypnotized me and hijacked my attention span both last night and the night before. Even now, I feel its evil siren song of diabolical temptation calling to me, trying to pull me in again. I find the old Victorian death photos downright bizarre. I mean, I get that, back then, folks didn’t get pictures taken often at all. In fact, for many, the death photos are the only pictures in existence of their loved one. What baffles me though, is the whole family posing with the dead thing, or posing the dead and trying to make them look alive. Painting eyes onto their eyelids and using special stands to make them stand…just weird if you ask me. Which, of course, no one didf, but that’s really beside the point. Deep down, everyone wants to be blessed with my delightfully awesome opinions and such.