I worked today. I did not get to spend time with the family or eat barbecued goodies or see nifty fireworks. I got to refill the damn cooler and the pop wall (technically, I had to climb and reach and fight with the pop in the back room to fill the carts to take out to Cat so she could fill while I resumed the backroom pop battle) and straighten my portion of the store and sweep and do all that awesome sort of crap. So when I got home, all I wanted to do was put on my jammies, zone out to my beloved Walking Dead via the Dead, White and Blue marathon on AMC, and have dinner. A turkey sandwich folks. That’s all I wanted was a damn turkey sandwich. Nothing fancy or impressive, just some mayo and turkey on plain old sandwich bread. I got all comfy–my sandwich was all ready, my cat was curled up in his spot next to my leg, my laptop was all fired up and my t.v. was tuned to my zombie marathon. Of course, it went to commercial as soon as I got all situated. And as I take my first bite of my boring, yet yummy, turkey sandwich, I hear, “This is what hunger looks like” and a picture comes on the t.v. of an emaciated toddler–complete with huge eyes spilling equally huge tears down the cavernously thin little face. I froze like a deer in the headlights. I couldn’t even chew my food around the guilt welling up inside my pathetic bleeding heart and overflowing all the way to my food-stuffed mouth. Then, because they hadn’t managed to annihilate me thoroughly enough for their satisfaction, they just had to go and call me a nasty name! They totally started chanting “heifer” at me and my mouth-full of food. Okay, so it was the (horrid) name of the organization trying to guilt me into forking over $20 a month to buy livestock for starving children and their families, but really, I know they had ulterior motives when they came up with that one. Some maniacal bastards were sitting around, trying to come up with a name for their little charity thing, and one of them said, “I know! We can call it Heifer! That way, whenever the commercials come on, we can crush their souls with those pictures and then repeat Heifer a bunch of times to really twist the ol’ guilt knife! No one will be able to eat in peace! It will be epic!” And then all the other evil bastards were all, “Yay for your awesomeness!” and shit. Advertisers are assholes.
Speaking of assholes, teens or kids in our store without any real supervision are total assholes. Throwing stuff at each other and knocking stuff on the floor and opening every damn thing they come across and all sorts of other delightful jackass crap. Seriously? What. The. Fuck. Where in the world did they come up with the idea that this is acceptable behavior??? Don’t get me wrong, adults suck too. In fact, as a general rule, all people pretty much suck. Not everyone of course, there are some folks i like just fine, but the vast majority of people are just douchebags.
Daily randomosity: I totally need to get a shirt that says, “I like you and all, but if zombies trip us, I am totally Shane-ing your ass.” That would be the best shirt EVER. Only one more day to get through at work, then a day off! Why do people insist on asking where something is without actually looking around first? I mean, people are always asking where the bread is in our store, and most of the time, they are standing in front of our chip end cap while asking. All they would have to do is walk one step and turn their head slightly toward the chips and TA-DA! Bread! If they just took one second to actually look, they would see the damn bread. Or when they stand two feet from the big old cooler and ask where the milk is. I wonder if anyone realized that there were 4 pics in the LOL post yesterday? I can’t believe I had 53 views yesterday! Most views in a day so far! Okay, so probably a bunch of them were, like, my bitter buddy, since he did comment on several previous posts today, but not all of the views could have been him, right?!?