Well, Apparently I’m An Ungrateful Jerk.


So I had this challenge thing on Facebook and I was supposed to list 5 things I’m grateful for every day for, like, 3 days.  Or maybe it was 3 things for 5 days.  I guess it doesn’t matter anyway since I totally failed the challenge in epic fashion.  After the first 2 days, I pretty much forgot about it.  Hell, I was proud of myself for remembering the second day!  But eventually I remembered and actually started to do another post.  Then I got stuck.  Like, super glue quicksand sort of stuck.  See, the problem was that I had kind of grouped stuff into generalities to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings or whatever.  I totally did not want to be all, “I’m thankful for my friend (insert name here)” or “I’m thankful for my fave cousin (name)” and have someone get their panties in a wad because I didn’t say I was thankful for them.  So I played it safe with the whole, “I’m thankful for my friends”.  The problem with this method is that it rather quickly used up all my thankful-fors.  And it’s not like you can do partial thankful-fors.  Like, I couldn’t say something like, “I’m thankful for having a job even though I work my ass of for shitty pay and essentially no recognition or appreciation.”  I may be socially awkward, but even I know that kinda defeats the whole purpose of listing everything you’re grateful for.  I thought about saying something like, “I am thankful for my self-restraint, which has thus far kept me from actually throat-punching people who annoy me”, but I felt it might be poorly received and such.  It’s not like I’m not grateful for a lot of things in my life, it’s just that listing them sucks ass.  I do feel bad though, since it was my buddy Caron that challenged me, and I am TOTALLY thankful for her friendship and she pretty much rocks overall.  I think she probably understood though, since she has known me for a zillion years and all and knows how very forgetful and awkward and strange I am.

(P.S. to Caron-I requested that day AND told them I CANNOT work it, so keep your fingers crossed!)

I had to giggle a bit yesterday when I got online and opened my blog reader page thingy and it had this weird little symbol at the top where my comment alert thinger is.  Apparently, it was so shocked by my sudden surge in popularity that it had a little mini wahoo moment or something.  It was all, “OMG!  You had a bunch of views AND, like, 3 comments!  In the same day!  It’s like your almost cool or something!”  That’s how I read it anyway.  It was sort of like getting invited to the cool kids’ party, only you weren’t actually invited, it’s more like your friend’s second cousin’s boyfriend’s best friend was invited and you are allowed to go as long as you stay in the car and watch from a distance, which is good enough and all, but then you accidentally forget and kind of wave at someone and then they tell you to come on in and you kind of die of happiness and then you go inside and spend the whole time just staring in awe at the coolness that parades before your eyes.  Yeah, it was kind of like that.  Like, I was all giddy ’cause people were reading my blog and responding to some comments I had made on various blogs.  But then I was all freaked because people were reading my blog and I’m not really as awesome in my blog as I am in my head and people were going to discover this and be all disgruntled and such.  And then I was all, “Fuck it” ’cause I write what I think and what I feel for me–for the sake of my sanity, I must brain barf and purge my brain of some of the whack-a-do that builds up in there.  So basically what I’m saying is this, new readers: ‘hiya! come on into the whacky world of me. have a look around. if you don’t like it, well, sorry and all but you can kind of pretty much take a flying leap right on back to whatever cyber place you came from since you obviously aren’t any fun anyway.’  Old readers:  You rock and I love giving you your delightful doses of weirdness!

Randomosity:  Am I the only person who loathes the ‘J.G. Wentworth 877 cash now’ commercials with an all-consuming, fiery passion?  Every time I see the commercial for that no!no! hair removal thingy, I wonder how many men shave their arm hair.  I mean, they appear to be in a mall-type setting (surely staged) and they have, like, 3 dudes try it out and say how awesome it is and how much less painful then a wax, and they all used it on their arm.  I don’t think I know any guys that shave or wax or whatever their arm hair.  I think it would be really hard to be a flamingo, since I would never be able to balance on one leg for longer than, like, 30 seconds, and they do it a lot.  I almost felt bad when I pulled into the parking lot at work today and saw that the little old lady that drives me bat-shit (I’m sure you recall her from previous blogs) was leaving and I realized I had dodged the annoying old lady bullet.  Almost.  I think my stupid body is trying to get sick, but I’m adamantly refusing to acknowledge this beyond being mildly annoyed with the whole cough/sinus bullcrap that keeps randomly popping up and then disappearing.  I will not get sick damn it.

Toodles y’all!


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