My Crotch Doctor Is Cooler Than Yours, My Nails Look Fabulous, And Miscellaneous Brain Barf

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So my crotch doc is just plain awesome, which is kind of an awkward statement since, as a general rule, crotch doctors are not high on the list of cool folks.  But my current doc is ah-mazing and knows exactly how to deal with women who are a tad freakishly horrified by the dreaded yearly exams and such.  I’m sure that some folks would find this whole thing a bit inappropriate as a topic for blogging.  But those people are just uptight whiners and can just cram it, since I am always discussing crap that others wouldn’t necessarily appreciate, probably because they’re dumb-asses.  So anyway, my crotch doc is way nice and patient and amusing and such and you should totally be jealous.  Unless you’re a dude, then you probably won’t have any appreciation for this and should just skip to the next part.  Seriously, the woman rocks.  She even drew a smiley on my band-aid.

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I went to my cousin’s baby shower Saturday and it wasn’t too bad as far as the whole I-don’t-like-groups-of-people thing.  And I took part in the single nastiest baby shower game EVER.  Melted candy bars in diapers truly do resemble poo–it was disturbing and icky and I only guessed, like, 3 or 4 of them correctly out of the 9 or 10 or whatever.  So anyway, my little cousin Phoenix was there, who is seriously one of the cutest little guys in the world, and my cousin Kaylee, who’s almost 7, was there too.  I find her hilariously dramatic and very diva and I have nicknamed her the terrorist, ’cause she kinda is.  Anyhow, Kaylee decided she wanted to paint my nails, which I let her do.  It was funny how shocking this was to the other adults there, who were truly surprised that I agreed to this.  I didn’t see the harm in it, since there’s this nifty stuff called nail polish remover, which makes it possible to, you know, remove it.  So I let Kaylee paint my nails, and even left the polish on when i went to work yesterday and the doc today.  I still haven’t taken it off yet, it kind of makes me smile, so I think i’ll keep it on for a bit yet.

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not sure what happened to the polish on my middle nail...it appears to have disappeared...

not sure what happened to the polish on my middle nail…it appears to have disappeared…

Randomosity:  I got to Skype with my Chloe tonight, which was awesome of course.  I’m not really excited about getting my blood work and chest x-ray tomorrow, but that’s mainly because I really didn’t want to have to go anywhere tomorrow.  Oh well.  I wonder why gynecologist was chosen as the proper name for crotch doctors.  What’s wrong with calling them crotch doctors?  It’s an accurate name and properly descriptive, so I just don’t see why they didn’t just go with that instead.  Jim Jones was completely bat-shit and I just can’t figure out how people went along with his bat-shit-ness.  I know that a lot of folks didn’t willing drink the kool-aid or whatever, but a lot of folks did, and those are the folks that truly baffle me.  It was downright unnerving to see that our store had received both Halloween and Christmas stuff on the truck Friday.  I’m getting more and more apprehensive about having to stay the night somewhere not here on Wednesday night.  I am also getting more and more nervous about going to the bar/bars at the end of the month.  It’s annoying how this crap never used to bother me like this, and now I get all freaked about everything.  It’s stupid.  I’m glad I got my jenky-ass tablet sent in to the company, now I just have to wait and see if they’ll actually fix it or send a new one or whatever.  Chocolate covered Twinkies are okay, but their name is beyond great–Chocodiles!  It made me snicker and snort and such.  I wonder how much it would cost to get a do-hickey that makes it so I can plug an SD card into my laptop, since it doesn’t have a slotty thing like my desktop did.  I hope it’s not too expensive, ’cause I kinda need one.  I have the munchies, darn it.  Bazinga!  That’s a fun word too.  Wouldn’t it be amusing if they made gang members wear pink, frilly, lacy outfits in prison?  Like, how bad-ass can you be while wearing a tutu and ballet slippers?  And it’d be super hard to get in a fight if you’re laughing hysterically over your opponents outfit!  Some big old tattooed gang dude wearing a princess dress and frilly purse and pretty hair bow just loses his scary status the instant he puts on an outfit like that.

Nite!

 

 

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2 thoughts on “My Crotch Doctor Is Cooler Than Yours, My Nails Look Fabulous, And Miscellaneous Brain Barf

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