Things That Make Me Go Hmmm.


Okay, so I know my brain doesn’t work quite like most folks brains.  I can totally admit that.  I can’t help it.  I see a pregnant chick arrested for prostitution and sure, I think how sad it is and all that.  But I also think, “What kind of whack-nut pervy creeper picks up a pregnant prostitute?  That’s just nasty.”  Which, I know, is completely NOT a P.C. sort of reaction, but my brain gives exactly zero fucks about being P.C.  When I’m watching t.v. and there’s a bunch of commercials featuring scantily clad bimbos acting all ridiculously unrealistically sexy and what not, I never get all snarky over the subjugation of women and all that crap.  Instead, I think that only on a male-oriented channel would they expect viewers to be such moronic hornballs that these sorts of advertisements would be successful.  If I am at a restaurant and there is a toddler squealing and yelling cheerfully, I do not sit and think how cute it is or hear the ticking of some mythical biological clock.  I sit and think how nice it is to have a cat and glare at the parents of the obnoxious curtain-climber and wonder why I always forget to keep duct tape in my purse. When I watch a documentary about kids with Progeria (the rapid aging disease), without fail, I think how sad it is that these poor kids have to go through this and I get all inspired and such by their courage and all that.  But I also wonder if they can get senior discounts at restaurants and stores and stuff, which is most definitely NOT even remotely P.C.  It just seems like they deserve that damn discount.

Doc appointments went alright today.  I was a bit bummed that the speech therapy lady didn’t really have any suggestions for my whole vocal flap meets perfume/cologne/cleaner equals coughing/gasping for air thing.  According to her, I’m already doing the stuff that I need to do with breathing exercises and whatnot.  So it looks like this stupid crap is just going to keep happening.  She said that it seems like the smell triggers the vocal flap issue, which then triggers the asthma tantrum.  Very fricking annoying, damn it.  I also saw a dermatologist, who is going to remove the cyst on my noggin (which I am still fairly sure is an alien named Allen, who is an asshole.)

Randomosity:  Why do people keep shopping when their kid is screaming?  Why do people think it is acceptable to allow their children to run around stores unsupervised?  I totally NEED a zombie chia pet!!  How badass is that?  A zombie chia pet!  (Now available at CVS, Walgreens, and Home Depot.  Just saying.)  What posses people to act stupid while they’re being arrested?  Like what, they’re not in enough trouble already?  Alcohol is responsible for a large percentage of arrests, fights, car accidents, domestic abuse, etc.  Drunks are often belligerent, violent, obnoxious, and impulsive.  Alcohol is all kinds of legal, which is kind of baffling when you think about it.  How often do you see potheads slugging it out at a bar?  Screaming threats and obscenities at people?  Beating up their family members?  Mostly, they are sleepy, giggly, philosophical, chill, or goofy as hell.  Now, I am not exactly all “Pot rules dude!” or anything, I just find the fact that it is illegal and alcohol is legal rather puzzling.  And our drunk customers are usually creepy and rude and annoying, while our pothead customers are amusing and laid back and such.  Downright baffling, isn’t it?  Insurance companies make my head hurt with all their stupid hoops to jump through and the stupid crap they do that makes it darn near impossible to get the damn meds you need.  The Geico commercial with the guy celebrating his cold cuts is fricking hilarious!  Makes me giggle every damn time.  Kind of like the words can hurt you commercial they did–cracks me up!  Only, like, 2 weeks until it’s Walking Dead time again!!!  I went through some of my stuff, which Rae is being awesome enough to let me store in her basement.  I hate going through my stuff and trying to get rid of things.  I mean, part of me wants to downsize a bunch, but another part of me thinks I have some truly bad-ass awesome stuff that I don’t want to get rid of just because it’s so wicked cool.  I will admit, I have a lot of books, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.  As they say, you can never have too many books, just too few book shelves!

Peace out y’all!


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