201 Posts, Bestie Necklaces, I Really Hate People, And Other Pointless Drivel

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This is post 201.  Can you believe that shit?  And apparently, to celebrate my 200th post, my views went bonkers!  I went from 2 days of 2 views to a day with 70+ views!  Once again, I am baffled, yet pleased, of course.  I think it’s amusing that wordpress sends a little whoot-whoot type message if you get a lot of views in a day or a lot of likes or reach a certain number of posts. It’s like they want to send you a little warm fuzzy or something.  Totally groovy, that.

So I have been threatened with bestie necklaces, a truly vile threat indeed.  It may not sound like a bad thing, but, trust me, it is.  See, the ‘bestie’ that would be wearing the other half of this set of necklaces is most definitely NOT my bestie.  The day I met her, she informed me that we were going to be best friends.  Yeah, not so much.  I’ve felt more connected to rotting road kill than to her.  And the dear woman threatening me to get us these revolting necklaces knows very well how very much I don’t care for this person.  Man this would be so much easier if I could use names.  Although, I suppose Mariah would be okay with me using her name, since she thinks she’s hilarious and all.  Just wait Mariah, I’ll get you back for this!  🙂

Perhaps I have mentioned this once or twice, but I loathe people!  I was putting stuff out tonight at work, which means I had a couple rolltainers and a cart on the floor. They were in our widest aisle, and though it was there, it was positioned in a way to make the merchandise behind it accessible.  So, why the hell did people feel the need to move them?  I watched one family just shove my cart down the nearest aisle, push a rolltainer over, and knock over all sorts of crap in the process!  What the hell??  They couldn’t ask me to move it for them?  Or, god forbid, go around it??  Then, while I was putting some canned goods on the shelf, some jackass came up to me, sighed this huge obnoxious sigh, and asked if I could move so she could grab something.  I’m balancing a box of heavy ass cans with one hand while putting them on the shelf with the other, and there was exactly 4 cans left in the box.  She needed that stupid can of veggies so urgently that she couldn’t wait another 30 seconds or so for me to put those cans on the shelf?  I wanted to whack her upside the head with one of those damn cans.  And what the hell is so complicated about ringing a damn bell?  No one is at the register, there’s a bell on the counter…RING THE DAMN BELL!  Do not just stand there like a complete moron, making impatient snarky faces, letting a line start to form behind your dumbass.  If there is a bell sitting on the counter, common sense would suggest that you RING the bell for assistance!  Seriously, I hate people.

Randomosity:  I hope Tien feels better soon, my poor little buddy.  I got him some goofy little stuff to cheer him up tonight, which he seemed to find quite amusing.  Krystal promised to send me some pics of him with his goofy toy things, and I will be sure to post them on here, since it was pretty hilarious.  I think it sounds a bit, well, non-kosher, to call someone a murdering whore, then say ‘god help us all’.  I could be wrong though, maybe it’s perfectly normal to pair statements of this sort together.  I should totally get one of those spray tans.  Except, with my luck, it would make me look like the victim of some tragic Dorito accident or something.  Blow me spellcheck!  Dorito is totally a word!  And so is Tien–I added it to the damn dictionary thingy twice already!  Get it together damn it!  Did you know, if you stare at a sleeping cat long enough, he will open one eye and give you the glare of death?  Which is hilarious when it’s my cat doing the glaring, considering he’s afraid of his own shadow.  Literally.  I saw him glance over, spot his shadow, jump, puff up his fur, and back away–from his own shadow for crying out loud!  I keep thinking I should get bangs, then I remember I suck at keeping them trimmed so I get all pissy with them and find myself actually contemplating cutting them myself, which is definitely a very BAD idea.  I cut a barbie doll’s hair once.  I eventually had to cut it all off all the way to her stupid plastic head, then I used a silver marker and colored her scalp silver, then tried to convince the daycare kids that she was a new robot barbie.  Strangely, they didn’t care for robot barbie and she mysteriously disappeared shortly thereafter.  I hope I can hang out with Dany some more sometime soon.  Damn, my head hurts.  I’m about ready to just take the damn stitches out myself!  I sure hope I can pick up my watch this Friday, ’cause I’m going bat-shit!  I keep looking at my wrist to check the time, only to remember that I have no watch, which results in all sorts of snarky expletives and such.  I think that if I ever had a cow, I would use cow-safe dye and dye her pink and make her spots blue and purple and green.  And I would get her a tiara and a boa and give her some diva-tastic name like Lady Millionara Moolotta and call her Milli for short.  Oh, I almost forgot!  A HUGE thank you to Krystal for saving me from the ginormously terrifying spider that tried to eat my face off at work tonight!  Seriously, I saw that little bastard lick his nasty little spider lips right before he ran right at me!  Luckily, Krystal is a bad-ass spider killing ninja, so she took him out before he could kill me.  Thanks Krystal!

Later gators!

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