Bitch, You’re High! And Other Awesomeness


So I’m a pretty crappy blogger, and I apologize profusely and all that.  Now that that’s out of the way, I do have some nifty little bloggy bits for y’all.

You may have enjoyed the delightful title of this post, as well you should, since it’s freaking hilarious.  It’s a quote I snagged from someone while I was at Krystal’s house for supper last night.  For whatever reason, this little mini sentence cracked me up entirely.  I laughed so hard my belly hurt.  Now I keep saying it and giggling.  No idea why, just find it amusing as hell.

I had an ah-mazingly yummy supper at Krystal’s!  She made turkey and mashed potatoes and green beans and gravy and it was super good AND she sent me home with left-over turkey!  Left-over turkey sandwiches are one of my favorite things ever.  Paired with mashed potato sage dressing, it’s the perfect food.  And it was also cool to just hang out with Krystal and Becky and Tien etc etc etc.  I met this little guy named Tazzy, and I swear, he is one of the cutest kids ever.  He has this great springy, curly, crazy cool hair and an adorable grin.  I tell you, it’s almost enough to make me wish I had kids.  Not quite, of course, but almost close!  And Krystal and I had a really good (and really long lol)talk.  It was a really good night, and I had a lot of fun, so thanks to Krystal for inviting me over for supper!

Just in case you are starting to forget that people suck ass, let me give you my newest list of annoyances at work.  A three pack of gloves torn off the packaging and one pair was gone.  Some douche-canoe tromped through our store, leaving massive muddy footprints all over the place.    A three pack of instant cold packs was torn open and one cold pack was missing.  I discovered a big, nasty wad of gum stuck to the floor that I can’t seem to be able to pry off the tile.  And last, but most definitely not least, someone stole a blu tooth speaker thing (which totally took some serious balls, since the damned speaker was not small).  Also had one customer yell at the cashier for asking if they would donate a dollar to either St. Judes Children’s Hospital or Toys for Tots.  Which I don’t understand at all.  It is completely unnecessary to get all snarky with the cashier for asking this.  Both of these are legit charities that I actually enjoying collecting for because they both help so many people.  Heck, I’m poor as hell and I still try to donate to them!  Kids with cancer and kids with no Christmas–c’mon people!  It’s not like we’re asking you to donate to puppy killers inc or something!  Geesh.  If you don’t want to donate, just say no and move on.  No need to be a douche about it.  Geesh.

Randomosity:  It’s way too damn cold outside.  I can’t believe how tired I am–I’m having trouble staying awake! Why on earth did they decide that Black Friday should start happening on Thursday?  Like folks in retail don’t deal with enough b.s., now it appears everyone has to get used to working on a holiday and dealing with customers all day long who say things like, “I can’t believe they make you work on Thanksgiving!”.  And it nevers occurs to them that, if they didn’t shop on Thanksgiving, we wouldn’t have to work!  C’mon folks, it isn’t rocket science!  Why don’t they make black q-tips?  My cat just sat on my foot and farted on it.  WTH?  In less than 48 hours, I should be at Carrie and Steve’s place where my nieces will be waiting!  Chloe is VERY excited!  Trust me, there will be pictures!  What would happen if you sneezed with your eyes open?  I think the white chocolate Reeses Christmas trees are awesome times a lot.  Hot chocolate sounds good right now, especially since my hands are so cold they’re getting all numb and such.  I’m making a ton of typos tonight.  I hope I catch them all and don’t let too many end up in the finished post.  They finally got the robe I want here at our Walmart, the right color and size and everything.  But they only have one.  I don’t get paid until Friday.  If that robe is gone before I can go get it, I may actually throw a tantrum right there in Walmart.  I loath being poor with an all-consuming, fiery passion.  I should really get ready for bed, since I keep nodding off and jerking awake and discovering that I typed a bunch of lines of //////s or whatever.  Very uncool, that.

Over and out.


One thought on “Bitch, You’re High! And Other Awesomeness

  1. longchaps2

    Douche -canoe? See you rock! How in the heck do you steal a big blue tooth speaker? Some un-pregnant people are leaving pregnant is all I can say. I hope you got your robe. BTW Walmart has the online option if they sold out. I know it sucks to hassle that, BUT in a pinch. I hate the thought someone took your robe. I want to judo chop their asses. Just saying…you gotta get your robe.

    Liked by 1 person

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