So I’m watching this drug documentary show, and it is just chock full of blog fodder. First off, I was unaware that drug cartel runners or mules or whatever the hell they are, ride ATVs for hours to bring the drugs across the border. Now, if I was a drug cartel person, which I totally don’t think I would be particularly good at since you have to be all murdery and scary and such, and I can’t even scare my cat (and would feel horrible if I did and would be forced to coo and cuddle him and such until my guilt subsided, cuz I’m kinda marshmallow-y and all), but anyway, if I was a cartel sort of gal, I would totally use the whole ATV thing as a selling point to entice folks. I’d be all, “Not only to you get to be all rebel-y and such, and make a little cash, but you also get to ride an ATV! For, like, hours! Get a tan and have a blast, riding through miles of open-range desert! Yay!” Totally stellar selling point, in my humble opinion. But anywho, they showed some drug dealers on this show. Yeah. Pretty sure they’re, like, 12. They’re all, “We don’t play around with these fools. We always ready to pop off. Blah blah blah, more drug dealer gangster stuff…” But seriously, they looked like junior high schoolers! And it did not help that one of them was waving his gun around, trying to look all bad-ass, and the gun is this tiny little thing that looks like one of those novelty lighters or something. Maybe they need a time out…or a hug. Either way, it was rather distressing to see these teens acting like hardened thugs while looking like kids too young to grow facial hair.
This show also showed folks committing return fraud, which is where they walk into a store, take something off the shelf, then return it–all without ever removing the stuff from the store. The girl they showed doing this said, more than once, that she wasn’t actually stealing anything. Like somehow this practice was totally kosher and whatnot. Um…not so much. She was totally stealing! She took money for items that were never sold, which is STEALING. Morons. We had a problem with this happening at our store, so now we don’t allow any returns without a receipt, and we have to tear all receipts in half before throwing them in the garbage when customers don’t want them. Take that steal-y drug-face jerks!
Aaaaaand I still loathe people. Shocking, I know. But, damn, people are annoying! And having to be nice to them??? TORTURE! Retail is a great way to test your ability to resist the urge to commit homicide, no matter how justified it may seem at the time. Though you may want to seek new employment once the temptation to throttle the next idiot who walks across your freshly mopped floor with their muddy ass shoes becomes almost irresistible. Probably.
Randomosity: I am so freaking fed up with being sick. Maybe I’m just not cool enough to get it, but the who;e meth/heroin/crack/whatever thing just doesn’t seem appealing to me. Like, I just don’t get it folks. For one thing, I am so not sticking a needles in my arm and such, nor am I tempted to smoke odd substances from a icky-looking pipe thingy. I don’t much like the idea of scarring myself up due to picking at imagined bugs or whatever or from needle tracks. I have enough issues with my teeth, I am definitely not interested in doing anything that notoriously leaves users with broken, blackened stubs of teeth. Just eeww. Why aren’t trapper keepers cool anymore? I’d really like a pair of boots with fringe on them–preferably suede. I’m totally going to use the super-hate thing from the dumb Lego Movie, which, in case you haven’t seen it (and trust me, your not really missing much), Superman is being pestered by Green Lantern all the time and he eventually tells Green Lantern that he supe-hates him, which totally made me laugh. I watched a movie called The Call last night, and it was actually pretty darn good. Especially the end. I recommend watching it at least once. I might even want to own that one…not sure. Either way, it was pretty good. Remember when Lisa Frank stuff was still cool? Yeah, now it’s dollar store crap. Rather sad, that. I’d make a terrible look=out person. I’d be all, “I am totally going to be vigilant and on guard and…omg that is the cutest kitten! No! Guard guard guard. Okay, focused on vigilance once ag-where’s my phone? I just had it! I swear, I lose everythi-oh, oops…wrong pocket…here it is. Okay, so I am now totally ready to be a guard-ish and whatnot. Yep. Guarding stuff. That’s what I’m doing. Uh-huh. God I’m bored. Luckily, I brought a book. I’ll just sit and read it and be all guard-y and stuff at the same time. And god, I really need to clean under my nails! Now, where is that darn nail file? I know I put it in my purse, now where is it?” And it would just go downhill from there. Probably I should avoid that sort of job/task.
It’s been a laugh, giraffe!