Seasonm Finales Are The Work Of The Devil, Who Needs Brakes When There’s Bricks, And Some Other Odd Bits Of Pointlessness


Oh how I love The Walking Dead and how I loathe the detestable time period between the season finale and the next season’s premiere!  Curse you AMC for putting me through this wretched sort of purgatory!  I must applaud the season finale though, it was really rather delightful–full of edge-of-my-seat moments and loads of “OMG” moments and yelling at people and all that good stuff.  And it wasn’t some horrible, nerve-wracking cliff-hanger and they didn’t kill off bunches of people and make me all mad and such, so yay for that.  I so cannot wait for next season!  The “W” wolf whackos and Morgan and the town and Scarol and all the zillion other things I’m all psyched up about….I just don’t know if I will survive the wait!!  Argh!!!!!!  I must say though, Norman’s stripey socks on The Talking Dead were rather schnazzy.  I sure hope that Aaron didn’t lose his Alaska license plate–he was so happy to find it.  Or, if he did lose it during that whole zombie slam-dance mosh-pit from hell bit, I hope he gets it back.  I miss my show already.  Siiiiiigh.

So, an interesting thing happened at work the other night.  Apparently, some random chick decided to kind of…bump…our building with her car.  Which apparently wasn’t even HER car, it was her mom’s, and it was purchased so recently that it didn’t even have license plates yet, just that little paper thingy with the purchase date and the plates due date on it.  And not only did she bump the building, she also bumped into the metal cage thingy that holds our propane tanks.  Neither the building or the propane cage thingy got more than a few little scrapes, which apparently cannot be said for the car.  Apparently, the poor car’s bumper received one hell of a thrashing, which left it far less firmly attached than it had been prior to the bumping bit.  I keep saying apparently whenever I reference the car or its driver due to the fact that I never saw her or the car, since she didn’t feel the need to tell us about her little parking lot escapades.  Instead, we had a random nice lady that came in and tell us all about it.  We did let the cops know that there was a chick driving around town that probably should not be driving…ever.  (Besides bumping into the building, she also apparently almost clipped several vehicles on her way out of the parking lot.)  So that was all kinds of interesting and such.

In addition to the bad driver, I have also had the pleasure of dealing with 8 stinky stenchers, 3 bat-crap crazy folks, 4 snarky jerks, 3 complete idiots, 4 price-arguers, and 6 flat-out prick-bastards in the last 2 work days.  I truly loathe the general public.

Randomosity:  I wish I was stupid rich.  Hedgehogs are just kinda adorable.  I think I should take Lionel on another adventure soon–he’s feeling a bit cooped up.  I hope tomorrow night’s a better night at work than tonight was.  I’m so glad I’m getting my hair done soon!  I still think it would be bad-ass to get Undead Fred and get him a schnazzy shirt and a jaunty hat.  OMG!  AMC’s going to have another zombie show?!?!?!?!  Fear The Walking Dead is going to air this summer!  I think maybe I just died of happiness a little bit.  Is it just me, or is the clown in the new Poltergeist movie still freaky as hell?  Damn clowns.

Don’t pout but I’m out!


Truly, I’m Not The Worst Cat-Mom In The World, People Still Suck, And Other Tantalizing Tidbits Of Mediocrity


So I’m pretty sure my cat should give me, like, a parade celebrating my awesomeness or something like that.  I had to take him to the vet to have them check the nasty patch of black,icky,crusty nastiness that has decided to appear under his chin.  I set aside my freak-out level anxiety, which was trying to convince me that he had some horrible face-eating tumor or something, and took him to the vet Wednesday.  This is never a pleasant experience for either one of us, though he seems to think I’m gleefully torturing him just ’cause I enjoy that sort of animal cruelty.  Not only did I strain my back carrying his rather substantial rear end from the house to the vet, and get a case of the guilties from listening to his pathetic wailing during the car ride to and from the vet, I also got to put a depressingly large dent in my poor little bank account.  It cost me almost a hundred dollars to be informed my cat has CAT ACNE y’all.  That’s really a thing.  Seriously, they seemed to think I was weird when I asked them if they were making it up.  So, they diagnosed his acne crap, gave him a shot in his bahookey for that, looked at his eye, and smeared gookey stuff in there, gave him two prescriptions…and this cost me almost $100.  And then the ungrateful little booger-head acted all peeved at me for the rest of the day!  How rude, right???  It’s a good thing he’s so dang adorable. IMG_20150318_003157 In case anyone has forgotten, I really loathe people.  Especially people that drag their rotten offspring around the store, pointedly ignoring their screeching and whining and various other tantrum sounds.  They just keep on shopping like their brat isn’t behaving like the spawn of satan.  For the love of all that is holy people, take your repulsive little crumb-goblin outside!  There is no reason to subject innocent bystanders to this sort of torture.  I am all for sticking to your guns when you tell a kid no, I really am.  But it is not necessary to continue your shopping to prove your point.  Just scoop that little beast up and leave the store or, if you absolutely insist on finishing your shopping, lock them in the trunk of the car, then come back in and power shop your way through the rest of your list.  Now, I am not encouraging folks to just leave their kid in a trunk and shop till their heart is content, I am just saying that, as long as they were super quick about it, it seems like it should be okay to leave the screamer there for a few minutes.  Although, to be fair, this may be yet another example of the thought process that proves it is a good thing I have refrained from reproducing.

Randomosity:  I totally got myself one of those big old light up fuzzy animal pillow pal thingies.  I think I may be playing the Sims too much lately.  Not that I will make any actual attempts to cut back on my Sims time or anything, just making an intelligent observation of how poorly I’ve been utilizing my time lately.  Other than a couple of delightful game nights with my fave shopping buddy for life and awesome cousin, Robby, I have managed to become even more of a recluse than I thought I could be, so yay for that!  If I could just figure out a way to avoid people all together, I would just be beyond content.  The game Robby got me for Christmas, Salt and Burn, is quite fun, even if he has beat me 2 out of 3 games.  (He’s so going down next time!)  I’m not sure what I’ll name my new light up fuzzy pillow thingy…it’s a pinky purple seal–really quite cute.  I’ll have to think about that one for a bit.  I’m kind of hungry.  I wish I had my very own minion.  I am totally not excited about washing all my bedding tomorrow–it takes forever and I have to remake my bed and spend hours hoping against hope that the stupid washing machine won’t get unbalanced or whatever and start banging and clanging, which means I have to go and manhandle the soaking wet bedding and try to even it out or whatever, which just plain sucks.  And I should probably vacuum my room again tomorrow.  It sucks that they don’t have seasons of Cops on Netflix.  I would watch the hell outta that.  I suppose I should go rustle up some grub. Gotta roll, mole!

Addiction Is Just So Ugly, Sanity Returns To My Computer, I Hate Straightening Clothes, And Other Gripping Crap


I’m fairly certain that there should be some sort of twelve-step program for folks addicted to those evil Sims.  And maybe whoever created The Sims 3 and all it’s evil minion games should be beaten or something.  This damn game is going to be the end of me.  Ever since I discovered that every single piece of clothing and decor can be customized, I just can’t stop playing.  Of course, I haven’t actually played much, just spent hours and hours and hours making stuff all kinds of cooler and prettier and such.  I just sit there saying things like, “Well, that is a nifty shirt, but the color is just not okay,  I must fix this.”  And then I do.  In fact, I usually make several far more appealing options for every single solitary item I select.  It’s disgusting, really.  And addicting beyond belief.  And, in case there is any doubt, I will totally be playing once again as soon as I am finished with this post.  Sad but true.

My laptop is all better now!  The super nice tech lady removed the detestable malware and now my adorable laptop is behaving herself once again.  I did feel awfully sorry for the poor tech though…it took her EIGHT HOURS to fix my poor little pc.  So glad the tech lady could fix my poor malware-ified computer!

So I had to tackle straightening the clothes section at work tonight.  Now, this may not sound like hell on earth, but, trust me, it is.  See, the problem is that no one likes straightening the stupid clothes, so we just sort of skim that section.  Quickly.  Like, zip down the aisle, pick up any crap on the floor, shove it on the rack somewhere, and get out of there.  Unfortunately, we have inventory this week, so the damn clothes have to be tidied up.  Lucky me, I got chosen for this task.  It took me all damn night to wade through that mess.  Had to basically redo the entire thing, since almost every single thing was in the wrong place and clearance crap was all mixed in with regular priced stuff and tons of it needed to be rehung and all that sort of crap.  I hate every single article of crap clothing I came into contact with.  All of it.  Hate it a lot.  Siiigh.

Randomosity:  Okay, seriously Walking Dead, WTEFF????  Feeling a bit homicidal this season, are we?  Geesh.  I mean, yay for Eugene growing a pair and all, but could ya maybe stop killing off our people now?  There is a whole town of irrelevant folks available for senseless slaughter now, could ya maybe dip into that pool a bit and back up off the ones that count?  Just sayin’.  Hmm…it would appear that, in the process of being fixed, my computer has lost it’s little dictionary thingy, as it keeps freaking out over my word choices.  I just had to re-add randomosity and sayin’, which I totally added, like, forever ago.  I had to go to the dentist this week, since, after 2 or 3 weeks of pain, I had to admit that my toothache wasn’t going to be nice and go away on its own for me.  My dentist is still way awesomer than yours, despite the fact that having dental repairs done is rarely a pleasant, pain-free experience.  It really wasn’t too awful though, except for the part where they said I might have to go to, horror of horrors, a different dentist to have a root canal done.  Yeah, totally not happening.  I will suffer or have the damn tooth pulled before I will go to the other dentist place.  I went to this place once in the past, and it still stands as the most horrendously traumatic dental experience I’ve ever had.  The damn dentist guy pounded the filling crap into my poor tooth so brutally that my face swelled on that side and I was in so much pain that I couldn’t do anything but sit and cry.  And that was just a filling!   I cannot imagine, nor do I want to even attempt to contemplate, how torturous a root canal would be.  Why aren’t there any naturally pink turtles?  Why do monkeys fling their poo?  Mother dick, porch dick, dolphin smooth–verbal delights I got from TWD, for which I am eternally grateful.

Gotta go, dodo!

Green-Free Viewing, People I Want To Smack, My Laptop Drama, And Other Blatherings


Okay kiddies, I got bunches of stuff to tell you about, so hang on to your butts!

So I got my tax refund back, like, way quicker than I thought I would.  The day after I got it, I summoned my fave shopping buddy for life cousin, Robby, and went shopping.  Now, I would like to point out that I went out into the dangerous shopping world with actual money in my account, which is way rare.  And I didn’t go nuts! I did pretty darn good actually, if I do say so myself.  I went to Half Price Books and only spent $25, which is nothing short of astounding, really.  Then I went to Best Buy, and didn’t buy anything!  Not even the Kindle I am still contemplating!  Then, I went to Walmart to get my t.v. and Blu-ray player.  I got a nifty 32″ t.v. and a nice little Blu-ray player that makes it so I can watch Netflix on my t.v., which is totally awesome-sauce! So now I don’t have to see greenish tinged people and such when I’m watching t.v.!  And it’s waaaay bigger than my old t.v., which was apparently a 19″ or something.  So now I watch t.v. and think stuff like, “Nobody’s green!” or “Wow, that dudes pores are ginormous!” and enjoy myself immensely.  And, just for the record, I didn’t buy any movies that day–not a single one!  Seriously, folks should be totally impressed by my astonishing show of self-restraint here.

I really wish it was kosher to Gibbs-smack people when they annoy me with excessive stupidity.  Like the folks at my delightful place of work that stand there, watch me open packages and put stuff on the shelf, then ask if I work there.  Or the guy at Walmart that acted like I was buying all this ridiculously unnecessarily excessive stuff just ’cause I got my taxes back.  (Which was totally unfair since I waited to get a new t.v. until my old t.v. went haywire.  I didn’t just want a newer, shinier doo-dad or anything like that.)  Or the lady that asked me, after entering my workplace sometime in the afternoon, if we were open.  Or the same Walmart guy mentioned about that continued to to talk me into buying a 50″ t.v., even after I explained to him that I neither wanted nor needed a t.v. that large, nor could I fit such a monstrosity in my room.  Seriously, I loathe stupid people.

My laptop has lost its frickin’ mind.  I have apparently picked up some Malware or a virus or something like that, and now the laptop won’t behave itself.  I can’t even play my Sims game!  I was worried that I would have to buy a whole new laptop but, luckily, I found a service that will fix the laptop remotely for a reasonable price. Hopefully, it will be fixed soon!

Oh!  The tech is calling! I’ll have to finish this later!

Gotta fly, pizza pie!

I’m Fairly Sure It’s Further Proof That I Am Not A Very Nice Person…


There was a woman in the store the other day who repeatedly told me how nice and kind and cheerful and basically delightful I am.  Yeah.  Sadly inaccurate, that.  Not only do I think snarky, distinctly unkind thoughts about the majority of the population, but I also, apparently, I rather suck at being appropriately sympathetic or compassionate or whatever.  Now, I will admit that I have noticed a bit of this before this evening.  When someone complains of their head cold being so severe they cannot work, I not only feel no sympathy, I have to fight an almost overwhelming urge to smack them.  When someone complains of pain that I experience pretty much daily, whining about how unbearable it is and acting like it’s worse pain than anyone can possibly understand, again, not one tiny speck of sympathy.  Tonight however, I believe I reached a new low.  I watched fascinating show called Body Bizarre on Discovery Life.  It was a truly awe-inspiring show y’all.  There was a woman with ginormous arms, like, seriously, unbelievably huge arms and hands.  It’s some gigantism type issue or some such thing.  Totally felt sorry for that lady.  Then there was a chick with really extreme Vitiligo, which I actually find kind of beautiful.  Then there were conjoined twins that were really cute little fellows that will soon be going through super dangerous separation surgery, which I normally understand parents choosing to do.  In this case however, I just about freaked.  See, these little dudes share way too much essential stuff: one liver, both the small and large intestines, some other guts, AND ONE SET OF GENITALS!!!!  So, one of them is going to end up without genitals, for crying out loud!  What the hell?? Can you even conceive of the level of sibling issues this will create??  “You love him more!  You gave him our penis!  And the testicles too!”  Seriously, it just seems so wrong.  Anyway, back to the part of the show that convinced me I am pretty much detestable.  The last person they showed was a woman with an extremely rare skin disease.  It was called Porphyria  or Gunther’s Disease, and, basically, it’s just hellish.  It often results in annihilation of hands and facial features and such.  Well, the poor woman who had this on the show had lost her hands, her nose, her eye lids, and her lips over the years.  Now, I was properly sympathetic toward her…at first.  Then, they showed a close up of her mouth.  I freaked the fuck out folks.  Since she has no lips, her upper teeth are, like, just out there.  And they are not just plain old teeth, they are rather unpleasant really.  I think it may be due to the disease, as pictures I checked out on Google of other folks with this disease also seem to have issues with their teeth.  And, in my defense, I find all teeth rather horrendously unpleasant and generally revolting. So, from the moment they showed that stupid close up, I could not stop staring at those teeth.  I couldn’t even focus on her sad, yet inspirational, story.  It’s like that time I watched a show about the oldest living person with Primordial Dwarfism.  I spent the entire show trying to decide what was more enthralling, her enormous bunny teeth, or her helium voice.  And feeling like a terrible person the whole time, yet unable to stop myself.  Or the time I watched the show about the armless folks who do amazing things like fly airplanes and play guitar, and all I could do was sit and wonder how they wipe their butt.  Or masturbate.  Or pick their nose.  Yep, I am really a rather unpleasant sort of person.  But at least I admit it, I guess.

I must apologize for my decidedly lengthy absence from blogging, but I have been not only distracted, but torn as well.  I was distracted by work and t.v. and The stupid Sims 3, and I was torn because I feel like my blog was getting a tad repetitive.  You know, incessant snarking about how annoying people are and how annoying work is and all that.  I began to worry that I was being to predictable and such.  But, in the end, I don’t really care I guess.  I still plan on bitching about the idiots I encounter and comment on the weird shit I see on t.v. and blathering about complete nonsense.  This is my therapy, damn it!  I can’t throttle people, but I can blog about their dumbasses.

Speaking of stupid people (nice little segue, huh?)  So tonight at work, I spent most of my shift working on truck, which is just putting away the new crap that came in on the latest truck,  I had at least 3 people come up to me tonight, watch me open boxes and packages and put them on the shelf, then ask me if I worked there.  Um…seriously?  Do you often see regular customers unpack merchandise and put it out on the shelf?  For crap’s sake, I rarely see them put shit back where they got it, let alone unpack it and put it away!  I was quite proud of the fact that I didn’t actually roll my eyes at these folks, which is darn impressive in my opinion.

Randomosity:  I wish they would make a version of The Sims where you just build and design houses and make people.  One where you don’t have to actually play the stupid game to see some of the niftier stuff.  I just don’t have the patience or the desire to play a game that requires me to tell people to shower and use the toilet and eat because if I don’t they’ll die.  My opinion?  If they’re too stupid to take a piss without me telling them to, they pretty much deserve to die.  So, needless to say, I kinda suck at the game itself.  But I LOVE building the houses and decorating them and making people and picking their hair and wardrobe and all that.  I have a new little squishy kooshy ball eyeball dude.  He’s hot pink.  His name is Stanley and he’s adorable.  I think he’s supposed to be, like, an Easter basket toy or something, but he was just too cute to resist.  He’s hanging up in my room, all eyeballs and springy hair.  I got an adorable new purse that I really couldn’t afford but absolutely loved.  It’s a little backpack purse, which I have been wanting for several years now, and I found it on clearance for $11, which really isn’t bad, even for a broke-ass cheapskate like me!  God news on the me front btw!  I am getting back more than twice the amount of taxes than I was expecting, so yay!  I will totally be able to get a new t.v., so no more green-tinged people on my t.v.!  It would really suck to lose a huge chunk of your face and have to walk around with a big ol’ hole in the middle of your face.  I think I need a little pet spider monkey.  They’re just too cute.  And totally suited for jaunty hats and fantabulous names.

Gotta jet, marmoset!