There was a woman in the store the other day who repeatedly told me how nice and kind and cheerful and basically delightful I am. Yeah. Sadly inaccurate, that. Not only do I think snarky, distinctly unkind thoughts about the majority of the population, but I also, apparently, I rather suck at being appropriately sympathetic or compassionate or whatever. Now, I will admit that I have noticed a bit of this before this evening. When someone complains of their head cold being so severe they cannot work, I not only feel no sympathy, I have to fight an almost overwhelming urge to smack them. When someone complains of pain that I experience pretty much daily, whining about how unbearable it is and acting like it’s worse pain than anyone can possibly understand, again, not one tiny speck of sympathy. Tonight however, I believe I reached a new low. I watched fascinating show called Body Bizarre on Discovery Life. It was a truly awe-inspiring show y’all. There was a woman with ginormous arms, like, seriously, unbelievably huge arms and hands. It’s some gigantism type issue or some such thing. Totally felt sorry for that lady. Then there was a chick with really extreme Vitiligo, which I actually find kind of beautiful. Then there were conjoined twins that were really cute little fellows that will soon be going through super dangerous separation surgery, which I normally understand parents choosing to do. In this case however, I just about freaked. See, these little dudes share way too much essential stuff: one liver, both the small and large intestines, some other guts, AND ONE SET OF GENITALS!!!! So, one of them is going to end up without genitals, for crying out loud! What the hell?? Can you even conceive of the level of sibling issues this will create?? “You love him more! You gave him our penis! And the testicles too!” Seriously, it just seems so wrong. Anyway, back to the part of the show that convinced me I am pretty much detestable. The last person they showed was a woman with an extremely rare skin disease. It was called Porphyria or Gunther’s Disease, and, basically, it’s just hellish. It often results in annihilation of hands and facial features and such. Well, the poor woman who had this on the show had lost her hands, her nose, her eye lids, and her lips over the years. Now, I was properly sympathetic toward her…at first. Then, they showed a close up of her mouth. I freaked the fuck out folks. Since she has no lips, her upper teeth are, like, just out there. And they are not just plain old teeth, they are rather unpleasant really. I think it may be due to the disease, as pictures I checked out on Google of other folks with this disease also seem to have issues with their teeth. And, in my defense, I find all teeth rather horrendously unpleasant and generally revolting. So, from the moment they showed that stupid close up, I could not stop staring at those teeth. I couldn’t even focus on her sad, yet inspirational, story. It’s like that time I watched a show about the oldest living person with Primordial Dwarfism. I spent the entire show trying to decide what was more enthralling, her enormous bunny teeth, or her helium voice. And feeling like a terrible person the whole time, yet unable to stop myself. Or the time I watched the show about the armless folks who do amazing things like fly airplanes and play guitar, and all I could do was sit and wonder how they wipe their butt. Or masturbate. Or pick their nose. Yep, I am really a rather unpleasant sort of person. But at least I admit it, I guess.
I must apologize for my decidedly lengthy absence from blogging, but I have been not only distracted, but torn as well. I was distracted by work and t.v. and The stupid Sims 3, and I was torn because I feel like my blog was getting a tad repetitive. You know, incessant snarking about how annoying people are and how annoying work is and all that. I began to worry that I was being to predictable and such. But, in the end, I don’t really care I guess. I still plan on bitching about the idiots I encounter and comment on the weird shit I see on t.v. and blathering about complete nonsense. This is my therapy, damn it! I can’t throttle people, but I can blog about their dumbasses.
Speaking of stupid people (nice little segue, huh?) So tonight at work, I spent most of my shift working on truck, which is just putting away the new crap that came in on the latest truck, I had at least 3 people come up to me tonight, watch me open boxes and packages and put them on the shelf, then ask me if I worked there. Um…seriously? Do you often see regular customers unpack merchandise and put it out on the shelf? For crap’s sake, I rarely see them put shit back where they got it, let alone unpack it and put it away! I was quite proud of the fact that I didn’t actually roll my eyes at these folks, which is darn impressive in my opinion.
Randomosity: I wish they would make a version of The Sims where you just build and design houses and make people. One where you don’t have to actually play the stupid game to see some of the niftier stuff. I just don’t have the patience or the desire to play a game that requires me to tell people to shower and use the toilet and eat because if I don’t they’ll die. My opinion? If they’re too stupid to take a piss without me telling them to, they pretty much deserve to die. So, needless to say, I kinda suck at the game itself. But I LOVE building the houses and decorating them and making people and picking their hair and wardrobe and all that. I have a new little squishy kooshy ball eyeball dude. He’s hot pink. His name is Stanley and he’s adorable. I think he’s supposed to be, like, an Easter basket toy or something, but he was just too cute to resist. He’s hanging up in my room, all eyeballs and springy hair. I got an adorable new purse that I really couldn’t afford but absolutely loved. It’s a little backpack purse, which I have been wanting for several years now, and I found it on clearance for $11, which really isn’t bad, even for a broke-ass cheapskate like me! God news on the me front btw! I am getting back more than twice the amount of taxes than I was expecting, so yay! I will totally be able to get a new t.v., so no more green-tinged people on my t.v.! It would really suck to lose a huge chunk of your face and have to walk around with a big ol’ hole in the middle of your face. I think I need a little pet spider monkey. They’re just too cute. And totally suited for jaunty hats and fantabulous names.
Gotta jet, marmoset!