Adventures With Pierre, Byron Is Something Of A Bastard, And Other Brainless Blatherings

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Well, I made it!  It was quite a trip, I must say.  I gave Tom’s car a name, got lost twice, missed my turn 3 times, drove over as rather unnerving bridge of sorts, drove through several small towns, encountered construction twice, and my stupid cell died and of course I didn’t bring a car charger.  The unnerving bridge was not really a bridge per say, it was a road slapped down in the middle of the water.  Driving across it felt an awful like being in a boat–the water was all around me and, like, two feet below the edge of the road!  Totally trippy and a half.The car, Pierre, and I bonded quite well, though I must say I did get a tad bitchy over the poor headlights, but I apologized, so Pierre totally didn’t hold it against me.  He’s rather swell that way.  So, even though my trip ended up taking a lot longer than it should have, it wasn’t all that horrible.  I did get to enjoy the beautiful Iowa/Illinois scenery.  Fields and grass and some silos and more fields and some cows and a couple horses and more fields and lots of trees and two ducks and, well, more fields.  Okay, the scenery is boring as shit, but at least I didn’t see any deer.  Oh, and did I mentioned it rained the whole damn drive?  Yeah, good times, driving in the rain.  In the dark.  And I think I drove past some houses that may have been hit by a tornado or something like that, which was fascinating in a very sad sort of way.  But I made it in one piece and got huge hugs and smooches from my Chloe-girl, so it was beyond worth it.  Yay for me making it here all intact and such!  And I have a whole day of Chloe/Tantie time to look forward to tomorrow!

Byron is a small town I went through on the way here, and I have decided I rather dislike it.  It’s barely even a town, for crying out loud, and I still ended up missing one of the stupid signs indicating that I had to turn off the road I was on in order to stay on the route I needed.  Again.  That was one twisty, turny route, and Byron was a stupid town.  So there.

Randomosity:  Taking a road trip with my brain is a decidedly interesting activity.  I’m driving down the road and the internal monologue goes something like this:  “Oh yea, more fields.  I wonder what they plant there.  Why are the fields so far from the house?  I bet it really sucks to walk in those fields when they’re all muddy like this.  Do they actually have to walk in the fields?  Maybe they just drive tractors or whatever.  Is that a deer?  Oh, no, just a big dog.  Wait, that wasn’t a dog.  I think it was a statue or something actually.  Oh!  Cows!  Cows are cute.  I should totally give up beef.  God, there is like, nothing out here.  Those folks could probably run around their yard butt-naked and no one would even be around to see them.  Well, unless they were driving by like I am, then they might see i suppose.  Huh.  got some trees  now.  Trees are nice I guess.  I mean, they’re kinda key in the whole people breathing thing, so there’s that.  Oh yea, a town.  Do they really have a nameless bar next to that building that looks an awful lot like the house in the Texas Chainsaw movies?  Like, who the hell wants to go hang out there?  I wouldn’t hang out anywhere that looks like it has a slaughter house next door.  And I’m not super into hanging out in nameless business establishments either.  Just asking to end up in pieces in a redneck basement really.  Oh.  More fields.  Yay.”—So yeah, that’s pretty much what it’s like the entire drive.  Well, I’m going to try to sleep now, since a very excited 7 year old will be waking me up far earlier than I care to think about.  Wish me luck on sleeping with this darn Prednisone.

Ta-ta, macaw!

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4 thoughts on “Adventures With Pierre, Byron Is Something Of A Bastard, And Other Brainless Blatherings

  1. longchaps2

    Lol. Yep, we actually walk in the fields. Sometimes we use the tractors too. Yep, we get muddy. Put horses in the muddy fields and THEN walk in them. Yep muddy as heck. In California we break up the fields with mountains. Not many trees where I’m at though. Yeah. Red neck country. That’s what it is, lol. Hope you had tons of fun with your little Chloe girl. That will make any drive worth it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hmmm…exactly how citified am I if, instead of seeing you walking with your horse in normal old icky mud, I keep picturing the scene in the movie The Never Ending Story, the one where Atrayo is trying to save his horse from the quicksand in that swamp? Or maybe it’s because that one time I walked through a half-frozen cornfield and the nasty old field tried to eat my adorable fuzzy boots, ruining them in the process. I’ve never been on a tractor. I bet it’d be fun. Kind of like a four-wheeler on steroids!

      Like

      • longchaps2

        Lol, never wear fuzzy boots in a corn field. Rule number one. Destructoid-oh. Being on a tractor is pretty fun. Driving a tractor is pretty un-fun. Especially when your husband is shouting twenty different commands at once. With hand gestures. From the scoup. And then you drop him.

        Liked by 1 person

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