So I went to a bunch of garage sales Saturday, which was groovy. I do so love garage sales. I got some pants and a couple Dean Koontz paperbacks and some other random stuff. Included in the random bits were two armadillos–a little figurine armadillo and a Ty beanie armadillo. I just had to get the little figurine ’cause it was so adorably bizarre and wacky and such. And then, when I spotted the Ty beanie at a later sale, I had to get it ’cause what are the odds of finding two armadillos in one day? I mean, seriously, armadillos are just not something a gal comes across every day. At least not in Iowa anyway.
I’ve been watching more documentaries, which I know is totally shocking and all. The first one I watched was quite educational. It showed the woman with the largest natural breasts on record. They were mind-blowingly ginormous. They weighed over 80 pounds between the two of them, and she’s a size 102 ZZZ! For craps sake, each breast is larger than the average 4 year old! Can you imagine have knockers that big?!? You could kill an innocent bystander just by turning too quickly! Death by giant boob! Anyway, the second documentary I watched had I chick with backwards hands and feet, a fella whose head permanently flops back and rests between his shoulder blades, and a guy who has the same thing the elephant man had. Then yesterday, I watched a documentary about this horrifyingly hillbilly family that is the epitome of all that is wrong in the world. It did make me feels all kinds of better about myself though, I must admit. Oh yeah, and I watched a documentary about the KKK, which made me want to throw things and such. Those people are so ignorant, it’s frightening. And they make absolutely no sense. They kept saying that they don’t hate black people or anyone else, but then they said that they want this country to go back to being a white, Christian nation the way it was in the beginning. Which is absolutely bonkers, since all the white folks emigrated from other countries. Have I mentioned how very much I dislike stupid people?
So yesterday I totally hung out with my Asbys for a bit! They gave me uber nummy nachos for supper and we watched the hillbilly documentary. I was totally social and such! It was almost like I have a life or something! I do so adore my Asbys!
Randomosity: Allergy testing sucks. It was nice to be told I’m not allergic to the planet after all–just cats and dust and ragweed. Every time I get an allergy test, they tell me something different, which is baffling. But I’m digging this whole being allergic to only three things idea. I wonder what would happen if I started carrying a taser. I’d probably end up in jail for tasing everyone who irritated me. It would be awesome to be able to tase all the folks that make me want to punch them. Why do so many big, rough-looking criminals end up hollering for their mama? I find the idea of Donald Trump being president rather disturbing for some reason. Probably ’cause of his hair. Really, it’s rather unnerving. This car commercial cracks me up–the one with the old dude and the Viagra. Amusing stuff, that.
Gotta go, dingo!