Crocodiles Are Not Pets, Snakes-Just Ew, Pretty Sure I’m An Epic Failure As A Blogger, And Other Equally Pointless Crap

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Okay, so I’ve been watching some of those Fatal Attraction animal shows the last few days and now I have some fascinating factoids for y’all.  First off, crocodiles are totally NOT pets.  They do not want to play or cuddle and they are not going to be all tail-waggingly happy to see you.  They want to eat you.  You are food.  Seriously, they are no more attached to you than you are to your order of McNuggets.  If you, like, obsessively dig crocs, visit them at a zoo or something and leave it at that.  Secondly, snakes are rather icky and very-uncuddly and really prefer living in the wild over residing in some reptile-nut’s house.  Honestly, what is the appeal of snakes as pets??  And what, for the love of all that is holy, possesses people to keep VENOMOUS snakes as pets???  WTH???  Why not just stab yourself in the face with a meat fork covered acid?  That way, you get the delightful experience of a snake bite but without the added expensive of feeding the bitey beastie.  Have I mentioned that I don’t particularly like snakes?  Just ew, y’all, just ew.  And one last little tidbit for ya–buffalo are not meant to roam in your house.  Ever.  Especially if you have a buffalo head mounted on your wall.  Seriously, you better hope that big ass beastie traipsing through your house doesn’t see that and figure that shit out.  I mean, look how people felt when they saw Dahmer’s home decor!

I’m fairly certain I am a failure of epic proportions in the blogging department.  I’ve been working so much lately that I just haven’t felt like doing much of anything by the time I get home and on my rare days off, I totally just veg out and do as little as humanly possible.  I do apologize and will try to do better and such.  Seriously.

Randomosity:  I’m really starting to dislike small-town fests and the parades that go with them.  Okay, maybe just the one we had in my town today.  I’ve had to work on the day they have this fest every year since I moved here.  Maybe I would like the whole thing a bit better if I wasn’t working.  Like, if I could go and partake in the yummy food and freebies and candy-throwing parades and such.  But no, I have to work.  I have to hear dozens and dozens of people ask where our bathroom is.  I have to watch people leave their trash in our parking lot.  I have to hear tired, cranky, over-stimulated kids whine and scream and such as they are dragged through our store.  And, well, people.  People just suck and there are so many of them around on fest day.  Siiiigh.  I’m super tired.  Probably should go to bed.  Do penguins have knees?

Gotta go, dingo!

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2 thoughts on “Crocodiles Are Not Pets, Snakes-Just Ew, Pretty Sure I’m An Epic Failure As A Blogger, And Other Equally Pointless Crap

    • Right?!?!? Oh…except for the sort of parades where you get, like, chocolate and cool free stuff–those sorts of parades are rather nifty. But other than that sort, they totally suck. Thanks! I’m really going to try to do better 🙂

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