Sometimes Doing The Right Thing Super Sucks, My Niece Is Just Awesome, WTEFF Is Wrong With People, And Other Tantalizing Tidbits Of Total Tastelessness


So I had to deal with a super stressful, fairly horrendously tough situation last week.  I won’t go into to details, I’ll just say I truly believe I did the right thing–no matter what anyone says.  When I was a kid, I felt like no one ever cared what was best for me, that no one was ever there to stand up for me.  So I did what I had to do for my niece, even if it made some folks unhappy.  And I am not one bit sorry.

My niece is kinda beyond hilariously awesome.  She does some seriously mind-boggling things that amuse me far more than they probably should.  Last week, she did something that literally made my jaw drop in shock…and then I almost ruptured something internally laughing.  So here is the newest Chloe story: Sierra and I shared a hotel room last week and Chloe hung out in our room as much as possible.  Well, Sierra was chilling on her bed and I was sitting on my bed, watching T.V. or whatever and Chloe was in the bathroom with mom, getting ready for bed.  So we’re sitting there and out saunters my adorable niece in her night shirt, holding Sierra’s face sponge thingy in her hand. Sierra spots the sponge and asks very nicely,

“Chloe, can you put that back in the bathroom for me?”


So I try,

“Chloe Marie, put that back where you got it please.”


Sierra tried again, a bit more sternly this time,

“Chloe, I need you to put that back in the bathroom.”

And then Chloe looks Sierra dead in the eyes…and then uses that poor facial sponge in a way no facial sponge was meant to be used.  Then she slapped the sponge down on the dresser and walked back into the bathroom, leaving Sierra and I sitting there stunned, mouths hanging open.  At this point Carrie, who had missed this while she was getting Chloe’s toothbrush and all that ready, comes into the room to see what going on.  She picked up the sponge and says,

“Is this what Chloe had?  What is it?”

Sierra looks at her for a second before answering,

“Well, it WAS my facial sponge.”

It was at this point, as Carrie headed into the bathroom to discuss things with Chloe, and Sierra sat there looking stunned, that I started to hear it–the voices of all the folks who find out my niece has Down Syndrome and feel the need to blurt the stereotypical comment,

“Oh those Down syndrome kids are just the SWEETEST kids!  They love EVERYONE!  They’re ALWAYS so HAPPY!  They don’t have a mean bone in their body!”

These comments kinda cracks me up as a general rule, but remembering them after witnessing my niece do something so decidedly NOT sweet was just to much.  I had to leave the room so I wouldn’t crack up in front of Chloe, since she was definitely hearing how very unacceptable it was to behave in this manner, and hearing me laughing my face off would probably not help drive that point home.  But damn,that was some funny shit.  Though I am sorry Sierra’s facial sponge had to be sacrificed in the process of creating this hilarious moment.  Probably we should have a moment of silence for the sponge…except now I’m giggling again so I don’t think I can do it.

So we apparently have yet another employee who has decided working is just too hard.  I say apparently because this one hasn’t even had the decency to call and tell us she isn’t coming back, she just stopped showing up.  Seriously, what the entire fucking fuck is wrong with people??  It’s bad enough that we have to deal with the general public every damn day–people stealing stupid shit, peeing on the floor, wiping poo on the walls of the bathroom, asking ridiculous questions, bitching about everything.  But we also have to put up with these sorts of co-workers!  Oh, and please don’t snark at the retail workers for having Christmas crap out already–it’s not our choice!  We don’t like it any better than you do.  Putting out Christmas stuff in August and September is beyond annoying.  But it’s not up to us.  They send it to the store and tell us to put it out, they never ASK if we like the idea.  So, sorry to say, suck it up and deal with it just like we have to.


IMG_80662273575886when i find a way in u my friend are fing dead

I’m pretty sure having a pet HIPPO is a bad idea, and it probably won’t end well.  I mean, I could be wrong here, but I just have a feeling it’s not the best idea for a pet.  Do they have to use little snow scoop machine things to clean up elephant poop?  Cuz I just can’t picture someone following an elephant around with a bag and a shovel.  I mean, it would have to be one hella big shovel, right?  I think it’s another example of what a bad person I am that when I saw a kid throwing a fit last night at work, all I could think was, “Seriously?  Just whack him one…or five…with a broom…or maybe a brick.”  In my defense though, the kid was, like 7 or 8, which is totally old enough to know better than to behave that way, AND he was beating on his mom because she wouldn’t buy him some dumb toy or another.  Then, after literally punching and kicking and slapping his mom, the kid took off in the parking lot and refused to get in the car until she bought him what he wanted.  I didn’t see how this ended, but I do know the mom did not come back in and buy the toy (yay for mom!) and they didn’t stay in the parking lot all night so I’m assuming she got his rotten butt in the car somehow.  Have I mentioned how much I love having a cat instead of kids?  Don’t get me wrong, I adore all my nieces and nephews and cousins and such, I just don’t deal well with the whole screeching, whining, violent hissy-fit thing.  I watched the documentary Blood Brothers last night and it was pretty great actually.  Totally recommend that one.  I wonder how I’d look with purple hair.  Turducken sounds rather disgusting really.  If I had a pet hippo and it took a bite out of my niece or nephew, I would totally get rid of that darn hippo.  Of course, I wouldn’t have a pet hippo in the first place, so there’s that.

Todaloo, kangaroo!


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