Hanging With My Best Buddy And Coughing Our Faces Off Together,An Awesomely Bookish Sort Of Christmas, And Other Rambly Rubbish


So I have been visiting with the fam since Christmas day, which totally rocks.  My poor little Chloe has been sick (she was sick when I got here so I totally did NOT get her sick).  We spent several days coughing our faces off and bonding over the miseries of being sick.  She went to the doctor yesterday though, got some antibiotics and such, and she is now feeling MUCH better.  In fact, she is attitude chatting with her invisible friend Guy and dancing as I write this.  I think they may be talking smack about me, but I can’t be sure.  Oh, she just informed me that she is an ACTRESS and needs respect.  My little diva would like me to note that she really loves chocolate ice cream…just ’cause you should know this.

I have had an oh so awesomely bookish sort of Christmas this year.  I got my Bloggess book and a Barnes and Noble gift card and a Kindle gift card and a Half Price Books gift card!!!!!  I have, like, 50 new books!!!!  Seriously, what could be better than that?!?!?  I have a book about the Lusitania and one about a bunch of tornadoes that hit during the 70’s and, of course, a bunch of zombie books, and a couple biographies and so many more!  It’s okay to be jealous, I totally understand.


I love the part in Chicken Little where they say “Who we talkin’ ’bout” every time they are buried in awkwardness.  My new minion blanket is really quite adorable, especially since Bob’s on it.  Geese sure do seem to poop a lot.  I suppose it isn’t really surprising to anyone that I would come up with something like Paco the Latino paralegal Paraplegic platypus and Chico the L.A. gang-banger spider.

Gotta go, Dino!


Coughing One’s Face Off Is Distinctly Unpleasant, My Name Is Totally Almost Famous, And Other Stuffs


So I am still coughing my face off, which is even less delightful than it sounds.  I have diligently consumed the antibiotics and steroids and used my nebulizer all annoyingly regularly and such.  And still, I am coughing my face off.  But I did get some cough pill thingies tonight, so hopefully this unbelievably inconsiderately stupid cough will go away.  Yay for cough squashing drugs!

Okay, so I am relatively certain I got one of the best Christmas presents in the history of EVER.  My Asbys are not only going to let me use Pierre (again) to drive to Illinois to see my nieces and the fam for Christmas, which is really kind of above and beyond awesomeness all by itself, they also gave me an awesomely magnificently amazing present!  As most folks probably know, The Bloggess is my hero.  (I totally want to be her when I grow up.)  I have read her first book, like, a zillion times, and it still cracks me up every time and I still find myself thinking “OMG she is me times a thousand percent awesomer!”  So anyway, my Noodle and the Bitter Man are well aware of my adoration and gave me her new book for Christmas!  Which, honestly would of been pretty much light-years beyond awesome, but then my Noodle had JENNY LAWSON SIGN MY BOOK!!!!!  WITH MY NAME!!!  So, like, my name is RIGHT NEXT TO HERS!!!!!  I am totally mere centimeters from The BLOGGESS!  I mean, more or less anyway.  And I have forgiven my Noodle for meeting my hero without me, especially since I have a PERSONALLY AUTOGRAPHED Jenny Lawson book…and she totally promised to take me next time.

my name is totally RIGHT NEXT TO JENNYS


my awesome christmas cow

Quirky Christmas ornaments are kinda one of my fave things ever.  This is my newest addition to my quirky ornament collection.  I call her Hortentia.  Behind her, that’s Lula.  I think Hortentia’s rather ecstatic grin is a perfect example of the manic joy of Christmas.  Who the hell gets up on Christmas morning and thinks, “Yay, it’s Christmas! I think I’ll go for a run!”????  Maybe someone just snapped under the pressure of the holidays or something.  What a ridiculous idea for a commercial.  I think I’m hungry.  I totally want my own furiously happy taxidermied raccoon.  I wonder if Santa gets all self-conscious when he sees studly male models in magazines.  Like, does he sit and wallow in self-loathing for a minute after he downs some of those cookies?  ‘Cause that would be pretty damn sad.

Gotta jet, marmoset!

So I Have Some Catching Up To Do, To Put It Mildly


Okay, so I have been a very bad blogger.  I have failed to properly keep y’all up to date on all things me.  So, yeah, I suck.  Moving on.

First off, I want to thank all the 300+ folks who visited my blog post about my uncle.  I am so grateful that it appears I was able to share just how special and amazing he was and how much he meant to my family.  We will miss him more than words can say.

One reason I failed to blog properly was the amount of hours I was putting in at work.  Well, that will no longer be a problem.  I lost my job last week.  I can’t say too much, just that I am not alone in feeling it was total bullshit.  In fact, I have yet to encounter anyone beyond the douchebag that made the decision, that finds it even remotely justified or right in any way.  On a positive note, maybe now I can get a job I don’t hate.  And I will have more time for writing and blogging and such.  But I do so wish I could openly badmouth that damn evil empire.

The other reason I have been sucking is SHOCK SURPRISE- I’m sick.  Again.  Yay.  Coughing my face off is just totally my favorite thing ever.


stop slamming on ur brakes...unless severed head...too busy for u

I saw this video on Facebook and I’m fairly sure I am going to hell for laughing so hard at a poor little kids traumatic experience.  Sadly, I cannot figure out how to share this gem here.  Let’s just say it involved a singing Rudolph and a little itty bitty tot and that poor kid is going to need so much therapy.  But, damn, that was hilarious.  I got the most amazing quirky Christmas ornaments last week!  There’s a cow with a tutu and heels and a dolled up crazy chicken.  I shall add photos soon, promise!  I hate Prednisone.  I think Bob the minion is just adorable.  I really should get up to some shenanigans sometime, it’s been far too long.

Later gators!