Learning A New Language Can Be A Real Drag, Book-ish Goodness, And Other Bizarre Awesomeness


I recently found myself rather enthralled with the very strange world of Rupaul’s Drag Race.  It’s a lot like a delightfully catty train wreck.  Through my fascination, I discovered a few things.  Like, why the hell can some fluffy fella put on a dress and some outrageous make-up, lip-sync crazily, and they get paid for it?  I could totally do that shit!  But I wouldn’t get money for it, I’d probably get locked up in a padded room instead.  Why can’t women get all over-the-top schnazzed up and make some bucks lip-syncing?  So unfair, y’all.  I also learned that drag queens apparently have their very own language.  They are just full of baffling terminologies and catch phrases that make absolutely zero sense to me.  I actually had to google that shit!  “Throwing shade” and “That’s the T” and “Oh no she better don’t” and “She done already done had herses” and “flood my basement” and “fleek” and something about fishing and all sorts of other odd bits.  Luckily, there is a drag-tionary available to translate these rather baffling terms and such.  Another thing I learned is that some dudes make unfairly gorgeous women and some are just rather nutso, but in an entertaining sort of way.  Overall, rather entertaining t.v.

So, as most folks probably know, I love to read.  Like, a lot.  A whole lot actually.  Like, freakishly excessively love to read.  Anywho, I have been devouring books like, startlingly fast lately, so I thought I’d just tell you about a couple of the awesome books I recently read.  For instance, tonight i finished a book called Dandelion on my Pillow, Butcher Knife Beneath, an amazing book with a decidedly awkward title.  It told the true story of a woman who became what is called a therapeutic parent to children with severe emotional disturbances, primarily RAD (reactive attachment disorder) and similar afflictions.  The story is told by both the woman and one of the children she helped.  The girl who told her story is the same child featured in the HBO documentary Child of Rage, which I saw many years ago.  The book was amazing.  While it is difficult to hear the tragic histories of the children who became part of this woman’s life story, it is super inspiring and touching to read of the way these poor, broken kids managed to fight their way through years of neglect and abuse and anger and fear to reach happiness and hope.  I highly recommend this book folks.  I have also been reading several books by Jaquline Druga lately.  I find them quite enjoyable overall.  Well-developed characters and satisfactory story lines and a nice dose of tension and such.  I do find myself frequently distracted by typos and editing issues that make my OCD brain go a bit hissy fit-ish.  But, overall, entertaining stuff.


Why on earth would someone decide to attempt suicide by drinking a bottle of Tide??  Like, seriously, wteff??  Someone actually tried to do this, y’all.  As I was listening to this story, I literally stopped hearing anything after the drinking Tide bit.  I just couldn’t get over the fact that some nitwit got it into his head to off himself and settled on drinking TIDE, of all things.  The other night at work, I went to tell someone that I would be sweeping but would watch the front, but instead, I informed her I was going to go broom”…seriously.  Good grief.I actually said something that rendered Robby speechless yesterday–it was awesome!  He just stood there, gawking at me while he stuttered and tried to come up with something, anything, to say.  One of my best moments, ever.  I got to spend some bonding time with my oh-so-cute little cousin, Jackson (not sure if that’s spelled right or not), which was super fun.  And I read my other little cousin, Phoenix, a little 4 page book about 5 bazillion times.  And I got to see my newest little cousin, Emmit (the name’s growing on me, though initially I rather despised it)–he is super tiny and cute and such.

Ta-ta, llama!





I Am Totally Not The Only Person I Know That Says Awesome Stuff, Horny Toads Are Intriguing, And Other Crap You Totally Need To Know


So I am totally not the only one who says awesome stuff that makes most people make a ‘wtf?’ face.  I say stuff like ‘smarmy bastard’ all the time and people always look at me like they’ve never heard such bizarre-ness (seriously, spellcheck?  bizarre-nests is acceptable but bizarre-ness is unheard of?? WTF?) before.  Well, I heard someone else say that very same thing tonight so obviously I am not the only person to appreciate the awesomeness of such delightful sayings!  So there!  Yay for appreciators of awesomeness!

I had to Goggle images of horny toads tonight.  To some folks this may seem odd, but most of y’all will be all ‘whatever’ or ‘well this oughtta be interesting’, which is what makes you awesome.  Anywho, the Bloggess had a post about horny toads and, though I have heard of them, I realized I couldn’t remember ever seeing a picture of one.  So, I Googled that shit.  And then I remembered why Google images baffles me.  Sure, I got all sorts of pictures of horny toads…aaaaaand all sorts of not horny toad pictures.  There was froggy-looking fish lures that were definitely NOT horny toad sorts of froggy-things.  And there were a couple random dinosaur/dragon looking things.  And a dolphin.  And something that seem disturbingly phallic and dildo-like.  Um…seriously Google?  WTH?  Oh, but I did totally see a picture of a baby horny toad and now I totally want one ’cause they are mind-mindbogglingly adorable.  But I don’t think I can have one since they’re endangered and I think it’s frowned upon to have endangered animals as pets.  If not though, I am totally getting a baby horny toad someday!


I just checked my little message thingy in the corner of my screen and it says I have had lots of traffic on my blog.  Which is awesome of course…but now I am all sorts of puzzled.  I haven’t blogged for, like, over a week (’cause I suck), so why would I have a spike in traffic in the last few days?  Hmmm.  I want a tiny house.  I even know exactly what sort of tiny house I want–400-500 sq feet, lots of built-ins and storage, big kid fridge and shower, no sleeping lofts, and solar panels.  And one of those cute little washer/dryer combo thingies.  I hope my buddy Caron feels better soon!  I want some purple cauliflower.  I wonder if it tastes like normal colored cauliflower.  I just don’t know what to make of this Jesus fellow on The Walking Dead, though I am having an awful good time with the name!  (What would Jesus do?  Let’s ask him!)  I go for my first allergy shots tomorrow, so wish me luck!

I’m out, trout!