Family Time, That Time I Almost Died Of Nervousness And Happiness At The Same Time, Work Buddies, And Other Mind-blowing Ridiculousness


I didn’t realize that it’d been a whole month already since the last post, and I am totally sorry about that.  In my defense, I’ve had a pretty hectic, draining couple of weeks.  So, here goes!

I got to spend almost a week with the fam last month, which was awesome.  I even got to spend a bit of time with Elise and Alex, which is kinda rare since they’re all busy being grown-ups and working and such.  I got to spend bunches of time with my sister (we even got our toenails and fingernails done!) and my best buddy, Miss Chloe.  As always, she cracks me up with her diva-ness and turns me to mush with her moments of sweetness.  One minute she is loudly telling passersby that I’m hurting, when in reality I’m merely trying to hold her hand and keep her from taking off into the maze of aisles at the huge craft store.  The next minute she is holding my hand and patting it gently while reassuring me that it will be okay and that she’s right there when I suffer from a little asthma attack.  I love that little girl!

So I kinda had the coolest experience in the history of ever last week.  I MET THE BLOGGESS!!!  (The Bloggess is totally a word and it doesn’t stop being a word just because I capitalized it, spellcheck.  You’re stupid.)  I actually spoke to her even!  In real, mostly coherent, sentences!  I was freaked out by the crowd and I may have come a bit close to hyperventilating a couple times, but it was totally worth it!  Added bonus, being friends with an awesome deaf chick comes with nifty perks, such as sitting in the front row (rather than sitting in the midst of the crowd, which was a downright horrifying proposition.)  Yay for my Noodle and the Bitter Man!!  (thanks again, both of you!)  Anyways, Jenny Lawson is light-years beyond awesome!  The first thing she said when she reached the stage thingy was “Holy shit y’all!  There’s a ton of people here!”  I really hope she comes back to Iowa someday in the not too distant future!  I will go see her every chance I get, which may seem a tad stalker-y to those who do not know/properly appreciate the awesomeness of Jenny Lawson, but those people probably won’t read this anyway.

And though he was a rather artful photo dodger, Robby was there too.  And please feel free to be all jealous about the knitted naughty bits Jenny received from my dear friend Noodle, since they are rather awesome.  And Jenny totally used the vagina as a neck pillow on the plane ride home!

I’ve been working a lot lately, but it’s been kinda awesome even though it kinda kills me a little.  But the reason it’s been awesome is ’cause I’ve been getting to work with my work bestie almost every shift, which rocks cuz she’s awesome and kinda like a taller, funnier, and slightly cooler version of me!  I’ve been forced to add her to my rather smallish circle of people I totally dig being around, which is kinda a big deal since I don’t really like being around people as a general rule.  I don’t remember if I have permission to use her name on here or not so, for now, I shall call her Gabby.


I just watched some court show that showed this guy in court for killing 8 members of his family.  Which wouldn’t be all that unbelievable really, except they said he beat them all to death…um…wth?  How could one dude beat 8 people to death without at least one of them hearing something and, I don’t know, run?  But apparently, these people, most of whom were adults, just snoozed right through the sound of 7 people being bashed to death either in the next room or right next to them.  Am I the only who thinks this seems a tad outlandish?  Now, I’m not saying he’s innocent or anything, I just find it rather unbelievable that he killed that many folks in a decidedly unquiet manner without any of them ever waking up or fighting back or anything.  Want to know the number one reason Polygamy holds no appeal for me?  According to at least one Polygamist sect, women get to spend their whole lives being utterly obedient to/respectful of/unquestioning of their husband and accept all their rules and all their other wives and such and if you are obedient to all the other church men, and if they do this well enough, they get to die and go to heaven and do it FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY…are you fucking kidding me??  To hell with that!  My idea of heaven has nothing to do with waiting on some asshole hand and foot for all eternity.  I’m more into the idea of heaven as more of an endless supply of awesome TV and books and bottomless cups of hot mocha and all kinds of cute critters that I’m not allergic to and comfy jammies and maybe a nice celestial marriage to Shemar Moore 🙂   Did I mentioned Jenny Lawson totally dug my shirt?  I wore the one with the T-Rex in the rowboat that says ‘row, row, row your…oh…right…’  Still can’t drive my car…I’m beginning to think the title got lost in another dimension.  I wonder how Dart would look with a kitty mohawk. (I don’t care what you say, spellcheck, it looks dumb to capitalize mohawk…unless I was referring to that particular tribe of Native Americans, in which case I would totally capitalize it but it’s just dumb in this usage.  You’re still stupid.)   I’m contemplating dying a chunk or two of my hair pink or purple or turquoise or something.  Gotta go, dingo!