Between working with the public, being forced to go in public for various reasons, and watching ‘reality’ t.v., my general aversion to people is constantly being reinforced by the incomprehensible behavior of folks. Throw in the historical and cultural documentaries, and it really shouldn’t come as a shock that I would happily avoid interacting with the vast majority of the population. People tossing wadded up money at a cashier while carrying on a loud cell phone call full of personal information that no one wants to hear. People proudly and loudly declaring their ‘knowledge’ that all folks that seek any sort of federal/state assistance are lazy, worthless scum who feel entitled to get money without having to work for it. People shooting at people they don’t know for reasons that make no sense. People thinking they are better than others because of their clothes or their home or their religion or whatever. Teen Moms and The Bachelor/Bachelorette…’nuff said. (I know the show sucks, spellcheck, but bachelorette is totally a word) Now, don’t get me wrong, I am guilty of having some truly atrocious shows in my guilty pleasure list, but none includes a bunch of pregnant teens or a group of people expecting to find true love with one pre-selected stranger on national t.v. while competing against 20 others who are all looking for the same thing. Seriously though, people just kinda suck. They so often have no sense of decency or compassion. People are so quick to hate and so prone to cruelty. I may be a pathetic, selectively-social, bleeding-heart liberal, but I think that’s infinitely preferable than being a selfish, uncaring, unfeeling, nasty person. So there.
It may shock you, but I’m a bit different than most folks. But it’s true. Most people seem to be all about fancy shoes or expensive clothes or glamorous jewelry or some such things. Yeah, not really my thing. While other chicks get all giddy over over-priced high heels, I’m perfectly content to sport some nice, comfy Sketchers or whatever. I get all kinds of disgruntled over the thought of buying shoes that are more than $30-$40! And that’s only for work shoes, which have to be super comfy and tend to be more expensive. For everyday shoes, I prefer $5-$20. The idea of spending hundreds of dollars on a pair of shoes is mind-boggling and rather appalling to me. And I actually don’t much care for that sort of shopping either. My idea of fun shopping involves avoiding any store that seems even slightly high-end or fashion-y. I am inevitably drawn to the more intriguing, quirky, oddball stores. The best way to draw me in to a store is to put something wacky right in the doorway or window, where I am unlikely to miss it. The weirder, the better. Bizarre lawn ornamentation, odd knick-knacks, kooky wall decor, goofy window hangings–anything that strikes you as too ‘out there’ or even a touch tacky. That is the stuff I love. The slightly amazing little stuffed flamingo wearing a fuzzy green boa and sparkly heels and a fabulous hat, the slightly disconcertingly unusual clothes hanger with a face and shoulders, the little pink koosh-ball looking fella with huge eyes, the zombie shaped cookie cutters-I love them all. But the really quirky thing is that I also love all things books (trinket boxes and pencil holders and book ends and coffee mugs and decor galore, which all looks perfect with all my books) and I love nifty old stuff. Especially old trunks and suitcases and such. I have a cool old metal pitcher that belonged to my Grandma Chuck that I use as a vase of sorts for all my fake flowers that I absolutely love. The fact that it is placed next to a little koosh-like baby chick and my Minnion shaped flashlight and a cool deco box and a bendy purple elephant thing my buddy Caron gave me many moons ago, it all just makes it even cooler.
What’s with the half-ponytail with the bump thingy in the front? Why would anyone sign up to be on a show to kiss a total stranger in the hopes of meeting their true love? Like, does that seem likely to these people? Why on earth do people have pets that can easily kill people? Like, what is endearing about a venomous snake or something large enough with big sharp teeth that can literally bite your face off or whatever? How do you feel sorry for someone who was killed by their pet venomous snake or eaten/mauled by their pet tiger? And I totally want a service monkey someday, but definitely a nice tiny little monkey that cannot go all pissed chimpanzee and chew my face off…like maybe one of those itty bitty little finger sized monkeys…or whatever those adorable little fuzzy monkey-like critters are. I’m fairly certain low-rise socks were created by the devil. There’s a guy on the show I’m watching that looks kinda like Babe Winkleman, but the Babe Winkleman from back in the 80’s rather than current Babe Winkleman, whom I happened to catch sight of while trying to find something on t.v. one day. It actually made me switch to the channel to see how old ol’ Babe was, which was hella old, at least compared to the last time I watched his show, which was probably sometime in 1989, as that is the year my stepfather died and he was actually the one watching the show, I was just the victim of a single t.v. household back then.
Asta La Pasta!