Remember when you were younger and your parents warned you not to fall in with the ‘wrong crowd’? They were referring, of course, to those that would screw up your life and bring you down and such. Yeah, well, I think I have officially fallen in with the aforementioned crowd of undesirables. This crowd of riff-raffs has drawn me in and just won’t let me go. They are a bunch of nasty, negative bastards that I want to throat punch, yet I can’t seem to escape them. They tell me how worthless I am, how ugly and stupid and unwanted I am. They insist that blogging is pointless, that no one reads it or gives a crap what I have to say. They demand I acknowledge how much better the world would be without me in it. They make my bones ache and my heart weep. They play back every moment of time spent with family and friends and gleefully point out every moment that could possibly be interpreted as indifference, annoyance, and/or disdain. They remind me that no one wants to hear about my loneliness, my pain, or my fears and struggles. And the very worst thing? The thing that leaves me hopeless and full of despair? I can’t escape them…ever. Why, you ask? Because they live in my head-they are me. The me that simple must spew hatred and self-loathing whenever my depression and anxiety decide to get all over-whelming and controlling and such. So, how do you avoid falling in with the ‘wrong crowd’ when it’s in your head?
So that’s pretty much why I have sucked at blogging. Sorry folks. I will really and truly try to do a bit better. In other news, I will hopefully be getting my car back this weekend, so yay for that! And yay for my bitter buddy, Tom, and his pal, who are going to save me darn near a grand by fixing my car (the mechanic guy I go to told me it would be that much just for labor, plus I would have to pay another couple hundred for parts!) So thanks again Tom!! Let’s see, what else? Dart just turned 15 on Sunday! He’s lost some weight, but he’s still just as adorable as ever.
Sadly, I got nothing. I’ll try to do better next time. But I did give y’all some amusing pics, so there’s that.
Peace out, trout!